Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph shows the number of participants in different activites according to year:

In 2000

1.There were 65 participants in the Film club.

2.There were 35 participants in the Martial arts.

3.There were 25 participants in the Amateur arts.

4.There were 15 participants in the Table tennis.

In 2005

1.There were 62 participants in the Film club.

2.There were 32 participants in the Martial arts.

3.There were 30 participants in the Amateur arts.

4.There were 20 participants in the Table tennis.

5.There were 0 participants in the Musical performences.

In 2010

1.There were 60 participants in the Film club.

2.There were 40 participants in the Martial arts.

3.There were 20 participants in the Amateur arts.

4.There were 20 participants in the Table tennis.

5.There were 10 participants in the Musical performences.

In 2015

1.There were 65 participants in the Film club.

2.There were 38 participants in the Martial arts.

3.There were 15 participants in the Amateur arts.

4.There were 35 participants in the Table tennis.

5.There were 15 participants in the Musical performences.

In 2020

1.There were 65 participants in the Film club.

2.There were 35 participants in the Martial arts.

3.There were 10 participants in the Amateur arts.

4.There were 55 participants in the Table tennis.

5.There were 19 participants in the Musical performences.

Now we discuss about same paticipants in same year :

In 2010 there were same paticipants of table tennis and armateur arts.In 2015 there were same paticipants of martial art and table tennis.

Now we do comparison among the participant in each year:

There were most of participants of film club in each year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the five activities and report figures across all five years, so the response is recognisably about the graph. However, it mainly lists data rather than selecting and summarising the key features, and several figures or labels are inaccurate: for example, amateur dramatics in 2020 is about 6, not 10, and martial arts in 2015 is about 34, not 38. The statement that film club had the most participants in every year is also incorrect: table tennis rises to about 54 in 2020, while film club is around 66. The overview is therefore misleading, and important trends—especially table tennis’s sharp rise and amateur dramatics’ decline—are not clearly summarised. Focus on accurate key comparisons and an overall trend statement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a basic chronological order, moving from 2000 to 2020, and the numbered lists make individual figures easy to locate. However, the information is not arranged as a clear report: the repeated year-by-year lists dominate, followed by abrupt sections beginning “Now we discuss” and “Now we do comparison.” These sections do not develop a logical summary, and the comparison claims are difficult to follow; for instance, the 2015 statement that martial arts and table tennis had the same number is not supported by the graph. Use an introduction, a concise overview, and grouped body paragraphs comparing related trends. Linking ideas through clear contrasts and references would make the progression more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant activity names and basic terms such as “participants,” “comparison,” and “most,” which allow the reader to understand the general subject. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, with “There were … participants” repeated throughout instead of language that describes change or comparison. Some labels are also inaccurate: the chart says “Amateur dramatics,” not “Amateur arts,” and “musical performances,” not “musical performences.” There are spelling errors such as “activites,” “paticipants,” and “armateur,” and phrases such as “same participants” are unclear in this context. Build a small range of accurate trend vocabulary, such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “overtook,” and reproduce chart labels carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most of the response uses short, simple sentence patterns, particularly the repeated construction “There were … participants in …”. This keeps many individual statements understandable, but it shows little grammatical variety and does not connect comparisons into developed sentences. There are recurring errors in sentence formation and punctuation, as in “In 2010 there were same participants of table tennis and armateur arts,” where the comparison structure is incomplete. The opening “Now we discuss about…” also uses an unsuitable verb pattern, and spacing after full stops is inconsistent. Practise accurate comparative structures such as “Table tennis had the same number of participants as…” and “While X rose, Y declined.” This will improve both range and control.

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