Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about the population of participants at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.

Overall, the highest number of partcipants in activity is film club and least number of partcipants are in musical performances. The most fluctuating activity is amateur dramatics.

Film club has the highest number of participants more than 60, in the centre and the also film club is very stable all over the given time period. Martial arts participants in the starting are more than 30, then being stable all over through 2020, on the other hand, amateur dramatics participants in the starting are more than 30, than decreases below 20, after that the partcipants rising to more than 50 through 2020.

Table tenn

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the film club as the largest activity and attempts an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. In particular, amateur dramatics did not rise above 50: it fell from about 26 to 6. The description also says it began above 30, which misreads the graph. Table tennis, one of the most important trends, is left unfinished, despite rising sharply from around 16 to 54; musical performances are mentioned only in the overview. The response is also below the required 150 words, limiting the detail available. To improve, complete the summary and select accurate comparisons, especially the sharp rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and then a paragraph describing activities. This gives the response a recognisable structure. However, progression is weakened by the unfinished final phrase, “Table tenn”, and by combining several trends in one long sentence with “then” and “on the other hand.” These links do not always make the relationships between the data clear, and the overview’s claim about the most fluctuating activity is not supported by the figures. Use separate, complete sentences to compare related trends, and finish with a concise paragraph covering the remaining activities. Clearer paragraphing and more precise linking would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “participants,” “stable,” “decreases,” and “time period,” so the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “highest number of participants” and “all over the given time period.” There are also spelling errors, including “partcipants” and “tenn,” and the final activity name is incomplete. Choose more precise trend language and check spelling carefully. For example, “remained relatively stable” is more natural than “very stable all over,” while “declined steadily” would describe the fall in amateur dramatics more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, particularly when several trends are joined together. For example, “Martial arts participants in the starting are more than 30, then being stable…” has an awkward and incomplete structure, while the long sentence beginning “Film club has the highest…” contains unclear connections between clauses. There are also errors in articles and sentence construction, as in “the least number of participants are,” and the final fragment, “Table tenn,” is not a complete sentence. Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and vary sentence patterns without joining too many ideas with commas. This would make the comparisons clearer and more accurate.

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