Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this graph is five types of activity. This is a information on the numbers of participants for different activities at the one social center. we can see this graph the most haiest its filed culb this is 65% activity in 2002 to 2020. and also many types of activity in this graph tye middest its martin arts and this is 35% percentage. and the loest activity its 2005 its musical perfomance this is 15%. also there are table tannes as well as and its percentage its 52%. this is the middal types of things. and also there are Amateur dramatics here and its 2020 and this activity is only 30%. this is the lowest things all pf years are here starting 2000 since to 2020. and the activity percentage its 0 to 70%.

all of years and participlas are here and this are all of the years and percentage are here.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies several activities and attempts to report their relative participation, but it does not give a reliable summary of the graph’s main features. Some figures and dates are misread: musical performances begin at zero and reach about 18 in 2020, rather than being 15% in 2005; amateur dramatics falls to about 6 in 2020, not 30%; and table tennis reaches about 54, not 52%. The response also misses the major trends, especially table tennis’s sharp rise and amateur dramatics’ decline, and gives no clear, accurate overview. The response is 142 words, below the 150-word minimum; 10 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count. To improve, describe the overall patterns and compare the series using accurate approximate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move through the activities, using phrases such as “and also” and “also there are,” so the reader can see that several categories are being discussed. However, the response is essentially one paragraph, with no clear overview followed by organised details. Ideas are repeated in “all of years and participlas are here” and “all of the years and percentage are here,” while references such as “this” and “this activity” are often unclear. The sequence of figures and comments does not establish a clear comparison or progression. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and key details, group activities by trend, and use linking phrases to show contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “participants,” “activity,” “percentage,” and the names of several activities, showing some awareness of the graph’s subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often inaccurate or difficult to recognise, as in “haiest,” “loest,” “middest,” “filed culb,” and “table tannes.” The repeated use of “things” and “types” is too general for describing data, and “65% activity” confuses a participant count with a percentage. These errors make parts of the report hard to interpret. Build a reliable set of graph vocabulary, such as “number,” “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “approximately,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing shows an attempt to form simple statements, for example, “there are table tannes” and “this activity is only 30%,” but sentence structures are repetitive and control is inconsistent. Errors include the opening construction “In this graph is five types of activity,” the article and noun pattern in “This is a information,” and unclear sentence boundaries where several ideas are joined with “and.” Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent, as in “center. we can see.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb sentences such as “The graph shows five activities,” and use full stops to separate complete statements. Then add a few controlled comparison structures, such as “while” or “whereas.”

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