Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph provides information about numbers of participants for different pursuits at one social center in Melbourne during a period of 2000 to 2020.

Overall, highly participated activity was film club and only a fewer number of people take part in musical performances during the period. Whereas,Martial arts remained same during the period but show little fluctuations.

First of all, film club recorded the highly participated activity in starting with 65 participants follwed by martial arts at about 36 members.Table tennis accounted for 15 at starting but depicted a sharly rise after 2010 approximately 56 participants at the end.Martial remained same with little fluctuations with 35 members at end.On yhe other hand amteur show a dra

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the film club as the most popular activity and note that musical performances began with few participants, which are relevant overall features. However, the overview is incomplete: musical performances rose to about 18 by 2020, so they were not consistently the least attended, and table tennis became the second-largest activity. Several figures are broadly accurate, including film club at about 65 initially and martial arts near 36, but the response ends mid-sentence (“amteur show a dra…”) and gives no account of the remaining trends. The required minimum of 150 words is not met; at 116 words, the report is too brief to cover the main features adequately. Include a complete overview and describe the key changes across all five activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report: an opening statement, an overview beginning “Overall,” and a detail paragraph introduced by “First of all.” This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression is limited because the details are compressed into one paragraph, comparisons are not developed, and the final sentence is cut off. Linking is also awkward in places: “Whereas” begins a fragment rather than connecting two complete ideas, while “On the other hand” does not clearly signal the relationship to the preceding information. Group the activities by their trends, use clear transitions, and finish each sentence and paragraph so the report forms a complete, logically connected account.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “fluctuations,” “rise,” and “accounted for,” and the activity names are generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “highly participated activity” and “a fewer number of people.” Spelling errors—including “follwed,” “sharly,” and “amteur”—also reduce precision. The unfinished phrase at the end further limits the reader’s understanding. Aim for standard chart language such as “the most popular activity,” “participant numbers,” and “increased sharply,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish stable, declining, and rising trends without relying repeatedly on “same” and “little fluctuations.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, for example the opening sentence and the contrast introduced with “Whereas.” However, control is inconsistent, and several sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. In “Overall, highly participated activity was film club,” the article and sentence structure are faulty; “Martial arts remained same … but show little fluctuations” shifts tense and lacks an article. The fragment beginning “Whereas” also needs to be joined to a main clause. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, and the final sentence is incomplete. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the period shown, check articles and subject–verb agreement, and build complete sentences before adding linking clauses.

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