Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graphs shows information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. The activities that are mentioned in it 1st is Film club, 2nd one is Martial arts, 3rd one is Amateur dramatics, 4th one is Table tennis and the 5th and last one is Musical performances.

When we report about number of participants in all these activities then we notice that all number of participants are different in every activity. First of all we talk about film club, in this activity 2000 to 2020 average participants are around 65. In Martial arts average participants are around 35. In Amateur dramatics, their are participants around 25 in 2000 and year by year its decreasing and in 2020 its around 5. In table tennis, its around 15 in 2000 and in sudden spike from 2020 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies several relevant activities and gives a broad impression that film club and martial arts participation stayed around similar levels, while amateur dramatics declined. However, it does not provide a clear overview of the main changes across all five activities, and the table-tennis description is incomplete and inaccurate: it says there was a “sudden spike from 2020 to 2020,” rather than describing the rise from 16 in 2000 to about 54 in 2020. Musical performances are not reported at all, and the film-club and martial-arts averages replace useful comparisons of their trends. The response is also below the 150-word minimum: it contains 127 words, with 22 copied prompt words excluded. Add a concise overview and accurate details for each major trend.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: the response begins by introducing the chart and listing its activities, then moves to participant numbers. Phrases such as “First of all” and “In” help signal the sequence of points. However, the second paragraph reads more like a list than a logically developed summary, and the discussion stops abruptly during table tennis. The opening list of all five activities uses space without advancing the comparison, while musical performances are never integrated into the account. Improve progression by grouping the stable activities together, then describing the contrasting rises and falls, and finish with a complete comparison. Clear paragraphing and linking expressions such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” would make the relationships easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subject and activities, and terms such as “participants,” “decreasing,” and “spike” show attempts to describe data trends. However, the range is limited and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including “average participants,” “all number of participants are different,” and “in sudden spike.” Repetition of “participants” and “around” also makes the account less precise. Choose language that directly describes change and comparison, such as “remained relatively stable,” “fell steadily,” or “rose sharply.” Check word forms and collocations so that the reader can understand the trend without having to interpret awkward phrasing. More varied, accurate trend vocabulary would strengthen the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to join ideas using “and” and “when.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “This graphs shows” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “their are participants” uses the wrong form of “there.” The phrase “in 2020 its around 5” also lacks the appropriate verb form, while “in sudden spike from 2020 to 2020” is structurally unclear. Sentence boundaries and punctuation could be more controlled, particularly in the long opening sentence listing the activities. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add a small range of correctly formed comparisons and clauses.

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