Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

social centre in melbourne, australia so numbers of participants by activity [redacted phone] which is:

17 participatients in table tennis which graph shown in 2010.it was continue increased in 2020 28 participants in Amateur dramatics the graph shown its down in 2005 and 2010 and continue down in 2020,38 participants in martial arts,65 participants in film club in 2000 to continue rise up in film club youth is interested to join this club or most of the indiviual show about this. ans the last is muscial performance which was started in 2005 and continue genration give interest to muscical industry as well as performance in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several activities and attempt to describe changes, including table tennis rising and amateur dramatics declining. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: key trends are inaccurate or unclear. Table tennis began at about 16 in 2000 and rose to 54 by 2020, not 17 in 2010; amateur dramatics rose slightly to 28 in 2005 before falling, rather than declining throughout. Film club stayed broadly stable, while musical performances began in 2010, not 2005. The overview is missing, and comments about young people’s interest are unsupported by the data. The response is also 45 words below the required minimum. To improve, report the main overall patterns accurately and support them with selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move through the activities, and phrases such as “and the last” signal a transition. However, the information is presented as one long, loosely connected sequence rather than in a clear summary with an overview and organised detail. The opening fragment, “social centre in melbourne… which is,” does not establish a complete introduction, and the shifts between activities make comparisons difficult to follow. Some linking phrases, such as “and continue,” are repeated without clearly showing the relationship between the data points. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and grouped details, and connect each activity’s figures with clear time markers such as “by 2015” and “whereas.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “participants,” “increased,” “down,” and the activity names, so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are imprecise or difficult to interpret, such as “continue rise up,” “started,” and “show about this.” Spelling errors—including “participatients,” “indiviual,” and “muscial”—also reduce clarity. The phrase “youth is interested to join this club” introduces an unsupported interpretation rather than describing the graph. Build a more precise range for describing trends, using verbs such as “remained stable,” “fluctuated,” “declined,” and “climbed sharply,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time, but most ideas are expressed through incomplete or loosely joined clauses. For example, “17 participatients in table tennis which graph shown in 2010” lacks a clear main verb, while “it was continue increased” combines incompatible verb forms. Tense and sentence structure are also unclear in “the graph shown its down in 2005 and 2010.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, making the long sequence harder to read. Practise writing complete sentences with a subject and verb, such as “Table tennis rose from 16 participants in 2000 to 54 in 2020.” Then use past-tense verbs consistently and separate each activity’s description with full stops.

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