Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar graph depicts the information about the different activities in which individuals had taken part at social centre in Melbourne, Australia in 20 years from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, major of the natives had showed interest in the film club, and only a few number participants was interested in music performances.
To commence with, 63 individuals joined the film club and participants slightly decreased in the next 10 years, and then again rose to its previous ratio till 2020. Moreover, martial arts 40 people joined the club in the starting then decreased a bit over the next 5 years, while coming to 2010 it was at its peak, and a few participants left in 2020.
Furthermore,in the begining of the amateur dramatics classes a few people showed their interset in it
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response identifies the film club as the most popular activity and notes that musical performances attracted few participants, which are relevant overall features. However, the report is incomplete: it stops during the amateur dramatics description and gives no account of table tennis or the later growth in musical performances. Some figures and trends are also inaccurate: martial arts began at about 36, not 40, and peaked around 38 in 2010 rather than reaching a substantially higher peak. The film-club summary is broadly accurate, but the overview does not capture the striking rise in table tennis or the sharp decline in amateur dramatics. The response is also 18 words below the required minimum. Include a complete overview and report the main changes across all five activities.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph beginning with “To commence with.” Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” show an effort to connect information. However, progression is limited because the final paragraph ends mid-description, and the activities are not covered in a clear, balanced sequence. The overview is too brief to guide the reader through the main comparisons, while the body does not group or contrast the trends effectively. Some transitions, such as “while coming to 2010,” are awkward and make the timeline harder to follow. Use complete paragraphs, cover each activity, and connect comparisons with clear time references.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “decreased,” “rose,” and “peak,” so the reader can understand the general subject and some trends. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “major of the natives,” “previous ratio,” and “a few number participants.” “Natives” is also unsuitable here because the graph reports participants, not local residents. Spelling errors such as “begining” and “interset” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and natural collocations, for example “the majority of participants,” “returned to a similar level,” and “the number of participants.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including “participants slightly decreased in the next 10 years, and then again rose,” and uses time clauses to describe changes. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. Errors include “individuals had taken part … in 20 years,” “a few number participants was interested,” and “40 people joined the club,” where articles, agreement, and sentence construction are faulty. The final sentence is incomplete, so it does not communicate a finished point. Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the missing space after “Furthermore,”. Use straightforward, complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement and articles, then add more complex comparisons once those patterns are secure.
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