Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

FROM 2000 to 2020 there were different number of participants for different activities in Australia,Melbourne such as film club table tennis etc.MOREOVER,the film club participants till 2000 to 2020 they decrease in numbers and however,increases in 2010 till 2020.In 2005 Amateur dramatics and Martial arts they both are 30.Furthermore in 2010 Amateur dramatics and Table tennis participants are equal in numbers that are 20.

In 2015 Martial arts and Table tennis are equal participants that are 35.Overall film club and table tennis oarticipants increases.In addition to,overall Table tennis participants increases and Amateur dramatics participants decreases because they dosent like to play.The Table tennis players like to play and focus on game and many people enjoy and participate in it.First there were no participants in Musical performances in 2005 than the participants come in 2020 more.Overall people participate arts and films ans dislike Amateur dramatics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant comparisons, including the equality of amateur dramatics and table tennis in 2010 and the similar figures for martial arts and table tennis in 2015. However, key trends are misreported: film-club participation did not decrease overall, but remained high and rose from about 64 to 66; table tennis rose sharply, while amateur dramatics fell. The claim that people disliked amateur dramatics or preferred table tennis is unsupported because the graph gives numbers, not reasons. The overview is unclear and does not select the main features accurately. The response is also six words below the required minimum. To improve, give a concise, accurate overview and support it with the most important changes and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some attempt to connect points using words such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Overall,” and the response includes several comparisons. However, ideas are not arranged in a clear progression: figures for different years are mixed with general claims, and the overview is repeated rather than developed. The opening sentence does not establish a clear summary, while the final comments about why people participate interrupt the description of the data. Some linking phrases are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as “In addition to” and “First there were no participants … than.” Organise the response into a brief introduction, an overview of the main trends, and paragraphs grouping the remaining figures by trend. Use links only where they clarify relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses basic task vocabulary such as “participants,” “increases,” “decreases,” and “equal,” which allows the reader to recognise the general subject and some comparisons. However, the range is limited and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate: “equal participants” should describe equal numbers, while “they dosent like to play” introduces an unsupported explanation rather than precise chart language. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “oarticipants,” “ans,” and “dosent.” Aim for a small but accurate range of reporting expressions, such as “rose steadily,” “fell sharply,” “remained stable,” and “stood at.” Avoid informal or speculative wording and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and some comparisons are understandable, for example, “In 2010 Amateur dramatics and Table tennis participants are equal in numbers.” However, control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “there were different number” and “the film club participants … they decrease,” while the time expression “till 2000 to 2020” is not formed correctly. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: several ideas run together, and capitalisation is inconsistent. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and simple comparison structures first, then combine them with clauses using “while” or “whereas.” Use full stops to separate each main point.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.