Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Graph provides data about the numbers of those participants who are practipated in various activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of participants in all activities shows fluctuation from 2000 to 2020.
The number of participants in Film club increased early and than decreased in 2010. After 2010 the number of participants increased in 2015 and 2020 whereas the number of participants in Musical performance had lowest from other activities.
In comparison with the Martial arts and dramatics shows fluctuations and amateur framatics increased early and than decreased
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, but it does not report the main features accurately or sufficiently. The claim that all activities fluctuated is too broad: table tennis rose sharply, amateur dramatics declined substantially, and musical performances increased after beginning at zero. The film-club description is broadly accurate, but the statement that musical performances had the lowest numbers is only true at the start, not across the period. Martial arts and amateur dramatics are mentioned without useful figures or clear comparisons, and the final sentence is incomplete. The response is also 50 words below the required minimum, leaving important trends unreported. Include a clear overview and support it with key start/end figures and comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and further detail, so the reader can recognise the intended structure. However, progression is limited: the second paragraph repeats the general idea of change, while the final paragraph introduces comparisons but does not complete or explain them. Linking is sparse and sometimes awkward, as in “whereas the number of participants in Musical performance had lowest from other activities.” The response would be clearer if each paragraph had a distinct purpose: overview first, followed by grouped comparisons of the activities. Use linking expressions to show contrast and change over time, and ensure each sentence develops a complete point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “participants,” “increased,” “decreased,” “fluctuation” and “in comparison,” which helps communicate the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “practipated,” “framatics,” “had lowest,” and “from other activities.” Repetition of “the number of participants” also makes the description less concise. Use precise trend language and activity names consistently—for example, “rose steadily,” “fell sharply,” “remained relatively stable,” and “had the fewest participants.” Check spelling and collocations carefully, especially when describing comparisons, so the reader can follow the data without having to infer your meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “Overall, the graph shows the number of participants in all activities shows fluctuation” contains a faulty clause structure, while “In comparison with the Martial arts and dramatics shows fluctuations” lacks a clear grammatical subject and verb relationship. There are also errors in tense and sentence construction in “increased early and than decreased,” and the final sentence is unfinished. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use consistent past-tense forms to describe the historical data. A wider range of accurate sentence patterns would make the report easier to read.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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