Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph give information on the number of participants for activities at one social centre in melbourne, The Musical performances is start from 2005 and it from 0 to 20 perent in the year of 2010 and after that incrase to 15 percent in 2015 and in 2020 it rise to 20 .And a tabe tennis start from 15 in 2000 and in it rise to 60 in 2020 .And the amteur dramtics it start from 25 in 2000 and rise to 55 and the Martial arts it start fro 45 in 2000 and the dicrase to 30 in 2005 and then rise in 2010 and then dicrease to 35 in 2015 and in 2020 it i 35 in 2020 Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 .So the number of participants, by activity is the film club percentage is start from 65 then it dicrease to 60 and rise again to 70 from 2000 to 2020. And

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several activities and attempt to describe changes over the period, but the report does not give a reliable account of the graph. Several key figures and trends are substantially misreported: amateur dramatics falls from about 26 to 6, rather than rising to 55, and martial arts fluctuates around the mid-30s rather than starting at 45. Table tennis rises to about 54, not 60, while the film club ends near 66, not 70. Musical performances begin in 2010, not 2005, and rise gradually to about 18. There is also no clear overview of the main features, such as the film club remaining highest and table tennis growing sharply. To improve, check each series carefully and summarise the largest overall trends before giving details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response makes an effort to move through the activities and uses basic sequencing words such as “and,” “then,” and “after that.” However, the information is presented as one long, run-on paragraph, with repeated “And” openings and no clear separation between an overview and supporting details. This makes it difficult to follow which figures belong to which activity; the final film-club sentence is also left unfinished. Organise the report into a short introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs grouping related trends. Use clear sentence boundaries and refer to each activity consistently, rather than linking nearly every point with “and.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “participants,” “rise,” “decrease,” and the activity names, so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate for describing a line graph. The repeated use of “start from” and “rise” does not distinguish between a starting value, a fluctuation, and an overall trend. “Percentage” is also unsuitable because the graph reports numbers of participants, not percentages. Spelling errors such as “dicrease,” “amteur,” and “tabe tennis” further reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of trend expressions and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect events over time, but most information is expressed through repeated, loosely joined clauses rather than controlled sentence structures. Errors in verb forms and agreement are frequent, as in “The graph give information” and “The Musical performances is start.” Articles and prepositions are also often missing or incorrectly used, while punctuation does not reliably separate complete ideas. These problems sometimes make the relationships between figures unclear. Practise writing short, accurate sentences first—for example, “Table tennis rose from about 16 participants in 2000 to 54 in 2020”—then combine ideas using a small range of accurate clauses. Use full stops to prevent run-on sentences.

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