Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

INTRODUCTION;

this graph illustrate that the information of different participants. that are involved in different activities.at social centre in melbourne.australia in period of 2000 to 2020.

OVERALL,

the graph show the numbers of participants that are include in different activities. so the all activity percentage. are given in the graph and graph also show the growth of activities from 2000 to 2020.

BODY PARAGRAPH 1;

musical perfomance that are increase in 2005 to 2020 to 18% and the second one is table tennis that are famous in the 2000 and it participant ratio is 26% but its decrease year by year and in 2020 its go to the 6%. and ametur dramatic that are increase year by year with a high ratio of participant.

BODY PARAGRAPH 2;

the material arts is a well activity for people. so the number of participant are equal in 2000to 2020. the ratio of film club are round about 60 to 70 % in 2000 to 2020 its a good amount and growing rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s general subject and mention several activities, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. For example, you say table tennis had 26 participants in 2000 and then fell to 6, whereas it rose from about 16 to 54; those figures and trend actually resemble neither the series. You also describe amateur dramatics as increasing, although it declined from about 26 to 6. The overview that activities generally grew is misleading because amateur dramatics fell and martial arts fluctuated around a similar level. To make the report more complete, select the clearest contrasts: film club remained highest, table tennis rose sharply, and amateur dramatics declined substantially. Use participant numbers rather than percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable introduction, overview and two body paragraphs, so the reader can see an attempt to organise the report by function. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from musical performances to table tennis and amateur dramatics without clear comparison, while the second shifts from martial arts to film club. Connectors such as “and,” “so” and “but” are repeated or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. The overview also repeats the general topic rather than guiding the reader toward the key trends. Grouping rising, falling and relatively stable activities, then using clear time comparisons, would create a more coherent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “activities,” “increase,” “decrease” and “growth,” which helps communicate the topic. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the intended meaning unclear. For instance, “the second one is table tennis that are famous in the 2000” does not clearly describe a trend, and “participant ratio” is not an appropriate way to report the chart’s figures. There are also spelling errors in “perfomance,” “ametur” and “material arts.” Aim for precise chart language such as “the number of participants,” “rose steadily,” “fell sharply” and “remained broadly stable,” and check activity names carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use basic linking words, but sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately controlled. Examples include “this graph illustrate that the information” and “the graph show the numbers,” where subject–verb agreement is missing. Articles, plurals and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “the number of participant are equal” and “its go to the 6%.” Full stops and capital letters are frequently misplaced, including in the opening, which breaks sentences into fragments. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to understand. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use simple past or present-tense reporting forms consistently.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.