Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It is often argued that having a competitive environment at school, at workplace and day to day life is a beneficial thing,while others believe that being cooperative is better instead of competing aganist one another. In my opinion although competition has certain benefits, cooperating and working together is more benficial for one's overall personal development.
On the one hand, some people believe that having competition at work and at school is beneficial because it allows them to complete certain tasks or meet deadlines within a stipulated time rather than procrastinating it.They feel that it would make them do their work better and achieve goals faster compared to their co-workers.They think it would encourage and motivate them to work or study harder than their fellow mates to become more noticable or get an considerable increment in their salary.
On the other hand, many people people argue that it is better to work in coordination and maintain a healthy relationship rather than gain rivals, as it would create a friendly atmosphere and help shaping one's fundamental skills.Having competiton among your friends or co-workers would tarnish the relationship you posses with them by becoming cunning and more jealous, thereby eventually inculcating a vicious behaviour.This would severly impact the mental health of the induviduals.For instance, two students having academic rivalry would tend to use dishonest means to do better in examination due to the pressure on them for educational achievement.
In conclusion,although competitive mindset can make you establish your goals faster, I believe that having healthy relationship with goof coordination would create a positive atmosphere and would be advantageous for your personal gowth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You address both perspectives and state a consistent opinion: cooperation is more beneficial for personal development, while competition can help people meet deadlines and pursue goals. The discussion is relevant, and the example of students using dishonest means under academic pressure supports your concern about rivalry. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not developed equally: the competition paragraph mainly lists motivation and faster achievement, without explaining when these benefits are most valuable or giving a concrete example. The cooperation argument is more fully explained, though its effects on personal development could be made more specific. To strengthen the response further, extend the less-developed side and connect each example more explicitly to your position.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your position. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the ideas within each paragraph generally move in a logical order. Some links are less smooth, however. For example, the shift from rivalry damaging relationships to its effects on mental health would benefit from a clearer explanation of the connection. There are also a few crowded sentences where ideas run together, such as the sentence about becoming more noticeable or receiving a salary increase. Use punctuation to separate these points and vary linking methods so the organisation feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “competitive environment,” “procrastinating,” “stipulated time,” “vicious behaviour,” and “academic rivalry.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For instance, “gain rivals” and “inculcating a vicious behaviour” are not natural collocations in this context; “create rivalries” and “encouraging hostile behaviour” would be more idiomatic. There are also spelling errors, including “aganist,” “benficial,” “competiton,” and “severly,” which reduce accuracy. Aim to use less common vocabulary only when its meaning and collocation are secure, and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive opening (“although competition has certain benefits”) and a cause-and-effect construction (“thereby eventually…”). Most sentences communicate their meaning, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “help shaping” needs a different verb pattern, and “two students having academic rivalry would tend to use” would be clearer with a complete clause such as “if two students have an academic rivalry, they may…”. Several sentences also run together because spaces after full stops are missing or commas are used where stronger punctuation is needed. Review verb patterns, articles, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to practise complex clauses with accurate control.
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