Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people work hard to achieve succes in their both personal and professional lives. Cerain individuals believe that competition with others, makes easier to success in both perosnal and personal lives, whereas others believe that team work is more effective to become successful. This essay will discuss both views, while explaining why I believe that team work is more effective than, individual competition.

On the one hand, certain individual argue that competition which occurs in people against their co-mates is really beneficial to become successful. First and foremost, when there is a competition, it may become a motivation cause and,as a result people may work hadr to achieve their goals than others. As an example, if there was not a competition among the social media developers, the founder of facebook would not become a one of the wealthiest businessman in the world today. Secondly, when people attempt to competitive with others, it may open them various new doors in both professional and personal lives. Undoubtely, the final outcomes may be unexpectable and unpredictable. For instance, when a employee has a huge competition with his co-workers, that may help him to climb the career ladder easily and would gain him a promotion with a higher salary, while becoming a significant character among his managers.

On the other hand, certain individulas believe that people should work as a team to become successful together. In addition, it is obvious that, when a unfair competition occurs among people, it may create an unnecessary burden and pressure. For instance, some workers and students had been motivated to suicide due to unberable pressure. Further, when people try to work competively, their social skills may be reduced significantly which may indirectly affect to the future of a country. In other words, social skills such as team work, good communication which are play a siginificant role to maintain well-being of a society and if they misuse, that may become a controversial issue within the society. As an example, if students want to earn money by using any method, they may motivate to engage in illegal activities to earn.

To conclude, eve though, competition may support individual to develop their skills, it would occurs unbearable pressure in people. Hence I belive that, people should work as a team and should work coperatively with his co mates to become successful their lives and to win their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both competition and cooperation and state a clear preference for teamwork in the introduction and conclusion. The competition paragraph gives relevant reasons—motivation and career advancement—and examples involving social-media developers and promotion. However, the discussion of cooperation is less fully developed: the points about pressure and social skills are relevant, but the link from competition to suicide or illegal activity is asserted rather than explained, and the examples do not clearly show how cooperation solves these problems. Your position is present, but the argument would be more convincing if you explained the benefits of teamwork directly, such as combining skills or sharing responsibility, and supported each main point with a focused example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the discussion, while “First and foremost” and “Secondly” organise points within the first body paragraph. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, however. For example, “Further” introduces a point about social skills without making its relationship to the pressure argument explicit, and the move from reduced social skills to students engaging in illegal activities is difficult to follow. Clarify these links and use pronouns and transitions more precisely so that each example clearly supports the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “motivation,” “career ladder,” “unnecessary burden,” “social skills,” and “well-being.” These choices show an effort to discuss both workplace and social consequences. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the meaning less clear, as in “succes,” “unexpectable,” and “competitive” where the intended form is “compete.” Some collocations are also unnatural, such as “a motivation cause,” “huge competition with his co-workers,” and “win their goals.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding ambitious vocabulary where the phrasing is uncertain. Proofreading spelling and checking common collocations would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if there was not a competition…” and clauses introduced by “while” and “when.” This gives the response some variety, and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms recur. For example, “certain individual argue” has a subject–verb agreement problem, “when a employee” uses the wrong article, and “which are play a significant role” combines incompatible verb forms. The final sentence also has an unclear construction in “to become successful their lives.” Review agreement, articles, verb patterns, and clause structure, then check punctuation around introductory phrases and commas to improve accuracy.

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