Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argue that some folk believe that competition at work, at school and daily life is a better thing. Other reject this notion because they claim that we must try to cooperate more, instead of competing against each others. As far as I concern, I support the farmer view. This essay will discuss the both prespective of said issue before reaching the conclusion.

To commence with first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in the favour of the people who say that competition is best things for people. The first the foremost reason is that it helps the individuals to improve their critical thinking. To illustrate, nowadays we are living in the technology era and everyone runing a rate raise to earn the money. In this era, competition is the good way to improve our thinking power. In the market every people compete with oppsit party because of win the competition of sales. Furthermore, when people thing to compete other folk then they try hard and use try their best to win the cometition.One another reason is that it helps to increase the fanincal staybilty. To demonstrate

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response introduces both views and gives a position—“I support the farmer view”—so the task is recognised. However, the discussion is only partly addressed: the visible development focuses on competition, while the opposing case for cooperation is not explained, and the opinion is not supported with a clear reason. Examples such as competing to increase sales are relevant but remain general and are not fully explained. The response also ends abruptly at “To demonstrate,” leaving the second point and conclusion unfinished. In addition, it is 59 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop both sides. To improve, explain at least one benefit of cooperation, support each main idea with a specific example, and complete the essay with a conclusion that restates your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an identifiable opening and a paragraph beginning with “To commence with,” and signposting such as “To illustrate” and “Furthermore” shows an attempt to guide the reader. The sequence within the competition paragraph is broadly understandable: it moves from critical thinking to effort and then financial stability. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the response does not reach the promised discussion of both perspectives or a conclusion. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, including “The first the foremost reason” and “One another reason,” and the final “To demonstrate” is left unfinished. Organise the essay into a clear introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion; use transitions that accurately show how each idea relates to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “critical thinking,” “competition,” “cooperate,” and “financial stability,” and some choices are relevant to the discussion. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the meaning less clear, such as “rate raise,” “oppsit party,” “cometition,” and “fanincal staybilty.” Phrases such as “competition is best things” and “win the competition of sales” are also unnatural. These issues fit a performance where vocabulary is minimally adequate but noticeable errors can cause difficulty. Build accuracy by learning common collocations for work and education, checking spelling carefully, and choosing straightforward expressions when unsure—for example, “compete to increase sales” rather than “win the competition of sales.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “because” and an example introduced by “To illustrate,” but the range is limited and complex attempts are often faulty. Errors include “It is often argue” instead of a correctly formed passive, “everyone runing” instead of a finite verb, and “each others” where the pronoun form is incorrect. Articles and agreement are also problematic in “competition is the good way” and “every people compete.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the general topic remains understandable. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses; check verb forms, subject–verb agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms during revision.

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