Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is the matter of debate, some people argue that contention at work, at school and in daily life is a valuable thing whlie others think that we should collaborate more, rather than competing with each other. According to my perspective, I consider that cooperation is more essential for our well-being of life.
To begin with, there are following factors which justify the impportance of cooperation. First and foremost, when people work together, they can share their ideas with each other, learn from each other's mistakes and compare the advantages and disadvantages of something. It help them to choose the right option. Secondly, collaboration also help people to follow the rules such as discipline, teamwork, patience and how to deal with difficult situations in the life.
On the flip side, there are several disadvantages to compete with each other at school, work and in regular life. First of all, competition create jealousy among each other, even it can a big reason of fight not only with their friends but also with strangers. Secondly, people waste a lot of their time to impress others. They cannot concetrate better on their studes and work. As a result, they may face failure in their work. For example, people spend a lot of money on their clothes to show off their wealth and status. Sometimes, they take loan from their friends to avoid embaressment in the society.
To pen down the whole discussion, there is no doubt competition help people to gain better result but benefits of cooperation cannot be ignored.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You give a clear preference for cooperation in the introduction and return to this view in the conclusion. The discussion includes relevant points about sharing ideas and learning from mistakes, as well as jealousy and distraction caused by competition. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the benefits of competition are not explained: the conclusion only briefly concedes that it can help people “gain better result.” The cooperation points are also listed rather than fully developed, and the example about spending money on clothes mainly illustrates showing off, not competition’s effects across work, school, and daily life. The response is 247 words, three words below the 250-word minimum; the 10 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop both sides with clearer explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on cooperation, a paragraph on competition, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “On the flip side” help readers follow the main points. This gives the essay an overall coherent arrangement. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes list-like, and the contrast between the two positions is not fully developed. For example, the competition paragraph focuses on its disadvantages without first explaining why people value it. Some linking phrases are mechanical, and references such as “It” in “It help them” are not fully clear. To improve, connect each reason to its consequence and use transitions that express the precise relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “collaborate,” “discipline,” “teamwork,” “jealousy,” and “status.” These choices make the subject clear, and some less common terms show an effort to vary your expression. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “contention” for competition, “well-being of life,” and “a big reason of fight.” Spelling errors, including “whlie,” “impportance,” “concetrate,” and “embaressment,” are also noticeable. These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and fluency. Build a bank of natural collocations for this topic and proofread spelling; prefer direct, accurate expressions over formal-sounding phrases that do not fit the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause beginning “when people work together” and a result clause introduced by “As a result.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement and sentence construction recur. For example, “It help them” should be “It helps them,” “collaboration also help” needs “helps,” and “competition create jealousy” needs “competition creates.” The opening sentence joins two independent ideas with a comma, while “even it can a big reason” is missing a verb. There are also issues with articles and plurals, as in “gain better result.” Check subject–verb agreement and ensure each clause has a complete verb. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.
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