Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often aurgued that in many people prospective that compition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing because the comition builds to do work more hard to became a winner and archeived the goals of the life because it is crucial for filling the basic needs to make a successand being a winner.While it is undeniable that competion makes the person to work more hard to et everthing in their life .For instance,some people from one extra number got the first position other leave for the section because the did not compete .

In my experince i do a lots of hardwork but did not compete my friends so that why i left behind and they are growing more .

Other people belives, they should comrate more,rather then cometing against each other .In my perpective it is a more good thing to tke your lower with you without competing them its should be thr team work and more genrous to help them .

For instance, the people who done their work in team always be the succesful then other who done induviusally.

therefore they both are important for thr getting goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the discussion: competition is linked to working harder and achieving goals, while cooperation is presented as helping others and working in a team. You also give a personal view, saying it is better to “take your lower with you,” although your position is not fully clear because the conclusion says only that both are important. The examples about falling behind friends and team success are relevant but need explanation and specific detail. The response is 185 words, so it is 65 words below the required minimum; the 12 words copied from the prompt were not counted. This shortfall limits how fully you can develop both views. Explain the benefits and drawbacks of each, then state your own preference clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: the response moves from the case for competition to cooperation, includes personal experience, and ends with a brief conclusion. Paragraph breaks help distinguish the two views. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For example, the opening sentence combines competition, hard work, winning, goals and basic needs, while “therefore they both are important” does not clearly follow from the preceding examples. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “For this reason” could clarify contrasts and consequences. Develop one main point at a time, and make the conclusion directly reflect the position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “team work,” “goals” and “successful.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “comition,” “comrate” and “induv iusally.” Some expressions are also unnatural, including “work more hard” and “take your lower with you.” These issues mean the reader sometimes has to infer your intended meaning. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “work harder,” “support less experienced colleagues” and “achieve shared goals,” and use them in complete, natural sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences, including the opening sentence and the sentence beginning “While it is undeniable,” but these are often difficult to follow because clauses are joined inaccurately or lack clear structure. Basic sentence patterns also contain frequent errors, as in “some people from one extra number got the first position” and “the people who done their work in team always be the succesful.” Verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries need more control. For example, use “people who do their work in teams are more successful.” Most sentences do not yet show reliable grammatical control, and errors can obscure meaning. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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