Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

To commence , these days in allover world is extremely high competitions at work , this thing is so better because to left the cheap individuals and take a chace to hard working person ,One the other from my persepective people should cocperate to others and assist more opporunities .I strongly agree with the notion this way is much better .

Overall, it is clear that in massive country to quickly grow in diffierent activity and economicaly strong and spend life to individual is much better and easily to understand other things to protect the various difficulties in study and other feilds. In this statement is exceptional in ever country and communities people achieve own goals ,and to protect the others.

On the other hand if one country in maried based system , to enhence more chance and first join hard working person , morever this person work very good and take action diffierent difficulies to automatically improve your country and community . to illustrate in my country has sit in best officer to various department and country to shine allover world because this thing is extremely crucial and beneficial for everyone.

At secondly , we are cooperate to other individuals and no have job less and failure in society and not face to other difficulties this strategy is so better to every community because everyone take occasion to built the future . To instance a leaner can assist to other students i n class room it is benefits because to totaly have successful and can take to best opporunities in life and modify the country to run in other feilds.

In conclusion , some individuals have believe that competition in work , However the majority cannot follow this ways ,to their own perspective to assist others and we are all to buit strong country and community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both competition and cooperation, and your opinion appears in “I strongly agree” with cooperation. However, the response only minimally addresses the question because the arguments are difficult to identify and are not clearly explained. The point that competition can reward hard-working people is relevant, but “to left the cheap individuals” does not make the intended reasoning clear. The cooperation paragraph gives a classroom example, yet it does not explain how cooperation benefits people or society in enough detail. The conclusion also shifts between competition and cooperation without clearly restating your position. Develop one clear reason for each view, explain each reason, and use a specific example that directly supports it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, separate discussion paragraphs and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the other hand,” “At secondly” and “In conclusion” show an effort to guide the reader. However, ideas are not arranged coherently within these sections, and the progression is difficult to follow. For example, the paragraph beginning “Overall, it is clear” moves among economic growth, individual life and protecting people without showing how these points relate. Some linking phrases are also used inaccurately, and references such as “this way” do not always make clear whether you mean competition or cooperation. Plan a simple sequence—one paragraph for each view, followed by your opinion—and make each sentence develop the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You try to use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “hard working,” “opportunities” and “community.” This gives the response some connection to the subject, but the range is basic and repeated, while frequent word-choice, collocation and spelling errors strain the reader. Phrases such as “cheap individuals,” “maried based system” and “take occasion” do not communicate the intended ideas clearly. There are also repeated misspellings, including “persepective,” “opporunities” and “diffierent.” Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling; choose words for their precise meaning rather than attempting expressions whose meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses basic structures to express opinions and examples, but grammatical control is very limited. Frequent errors can distort meaning, as in “in allover world is extremely high competitions” and “we are cooperate to other individuals.” Problems include sentence formation, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation; several sentences run together, making it hard to see where one idea ends. The sentence beginning “To illustrate” also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb before combining them with conjunctions. Then check each sentence for agreement, verb form and punctuation, while keeping complex structures simple and accurate.

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