Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no denying the fact that people compete against each other. While it is a commonly held belief that competition at work, school or in daily life is a good thing where it helps people to improve and developpe. While others believe that people should help each other more rather than competing against them, because of its negative impact for the society. In my opinion, I believe that people should cooperate between each other.

On the one hand, the main reason why competition is a good thing is that it helps people to improve. In other words we can say that it helps them developpe their personalities and build their careers, by keeping the good work every day. In addition, competition makes people work more and more, as a result they participate in the development of the country in many fields like economics, studies, technology... For example, students always compete between each other on who will get a best mark than the other. As a result, making efforts at studies help them to have better opportunities in the future as they developpe.

On the other hand, competition has a negative impact on people if they are not doing it in the right way. It build a generation full of ego and hate. however, it spreads more negative energy between people as they compete between each other. People don't help each other because of ego and hate. It has also a negative impact on people's health, as it can developpe illnesses such as lonliness where people think always of theirselves rather than others. For instance, people don't cooperate between each other as they scared that the one will be better than the other.

In conclusion, despite the benifits of competition. In my opinion, we should be aware of it as it has a negative impact on society and people's health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both sides of the question and state a clear preference for cooperation, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. The points about competition encouraging effort and cooperation reducing hostility are relevant, and the student example gives one supporting illustration. However, the discussion remains general and some claims are not fully explained: for example, the link between competition and “the development of the country” is asserted rather than demonstrated, while the health effects of competition are mentioned without much support. The conclusion also repeats the preference but does not bring the two views together. Develop fewer points with clearer explanations or specific examples, and make your position more consistently explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the change in perspective, and examples are placed within the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links are mechanical or repetitive, especially repeated uses of “as a result” and “between each other.” The opening contains two sentences beginning with “While,” which makes the relationship between the ideas difficult to follow. The conclusion begins with an incomplete contrast, “despite the benefits of competition.” Use clearer sentence-to-sentence links, avoid repeating the same connectors, and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “development,” “ego,” and “negative impact.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, such as “develop,” “negative impact,” and “compete between each other.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “lonliness,” “a best mark,” and “keeping the good work,” which can make parts of the argument less clear. Spelling errors such as “developpe” and “benifits” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise expressions for discussing motivation, collaboration, and social effects, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “as,” but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain grammatical errors. For example, “While it is a commonly held belief … where it helps” is an incomplete and awkwardly joined construction, while “It build a generation” has a subject–verb agreement error. Other examples include “as they scared” and “people think always,” where the verb pattern or word order is faulty. The conclusion’s opening, “despite the benefits of competition,” is also left as a fragment. Practise forming complete sentences and checking agreement, verb forms, articles, and clause connections; use complex structures only when you can control them.

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