Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first thing is competition and other is cooperate. The competition at work is very good thing for people . It provide atttention on work and make mind stronger about it.If we work normal with no competition.That make man lazzy and disturebed its mently position. That person are not achive big in life.They did not khown about what is the main goal in life.They forget about dreams.That;s why competition is better than cooperate at work.

The competition at school is very important for students in school. The reson behind is that decisions of life we set in school about what gain in life.The students who decided about competition to the other one student are gain more marks in exam.If the students cooperate in studies they gain loss in marks which is connected to its dream.That's why students want to don;t cooperate at school.

The Competition in life is very important for people becase it proved to be helpfull to gain courage.The help of competition make man healthy.The cooperate in life make loss in life.If we have no competition to ohers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You address competition in the workplace, at school, and in daily life, and your view that competition is preferable is clear in statements such as “competition is better than cooperate at work.” However, the task also asks you to discuss the view that people should cooperate more, and this side is mostly dismissed rather than explained. For example, you say cooperation in studies leads to “loss in marks,” but give no reason or example to support this claim. The ideas about competition are also repeated and remain general, with little development. The response is 70 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to discuss both views and support your position. Develop each point with a reason and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it moves from competition at work to school and then to life, so the reader can identify the main topic of each section. You also use a few linking expressions, including “That’s why” and “The reason behind is that.” However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: several short claims are placed next to one another without showing how they connect, and the final paragraph ends with the unfinished thought “If we have no competition to others.” Repeated use of “That’s why” also makes the linking mechanical. To improve, organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use a concluding sentence rather than leaving an idea incomplete.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of topic-related words, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “students,” “marks,” and “dream,” which makes the general subject understandable. There are also attempts to express ideas such as motivation and confidence through phrases like “make mind stronger” and “gain courage.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to follow, including “atttention,” “lazzy,” “disturebed,” “khown,” and “becase.” Some phrases are not natural in this context, such as “gain loss in marks” and “the cooperate in life.” Build a wider range of accurate expressions for benefits and drawbacks, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You mainly use simple statements and make some attempts to connect ideas with conditional clauses, as in “If we work normal with no competition.” This shows an effort to express cause and condition, but the range of sentence structures remains narrow and many sentences contain errors that make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “It provide attention on work” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “That person are not achieve big in life” combines incorrect agreement with an inaccurate verb pattern. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “competition at work is very good thing for people.” Practise building complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms, then combine related ideas using clear subordinate clauses.

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