Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, competition becoming trendy in many fields of life and some people think it is a good thing. By contrast, some believe that cooperation is more significant, rather than competing one another. Although, both statements are under discussion and i will discuss both in this essay. On the one hand, when students start compition it encourage them to work hard and try their best to get good marks to compete others and increase their knowledge. Compition motivate people to achieve their goals. In addition, compitition in employess encourage them to work better and improve their skills. That is very beneficial fo them. On the other hand, Coopration is

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response begins to address both views: it says competition can encourage students to work hard and employees to improve their skills. However, the discussion of cooperation stops at “On the other hand, Coopration is,” so this side is not explained, and there is no clear personal opinion or conclusion. The examples are brief and the benefits are asserted rather than supported with relevant detail. The response also does not meet the required 250-word minimum, which leaves the task substantially incomplete. To improve, explain at least one benefit of cooperation, compare the two approaches, state your own view clearly, and support each main point with a specific example before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the essay: the opening introduces the two positions, and “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” signal a contrast. The ideas about students and employees also follow a recognisable sequence. However, the second side ends immediately, so the overall progression is incomplete and the reader cannot follow a full discussion. Some linking is mechanical, as in “In addition,” followed by another general claim, while “Although” does not introduce a complete contrastive clause. Develop separate, complete paragraphs for each view, use clear topic sentences, and connect each supporting example to the point it illustrates. A concluding paragraph would also make the argument feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “competition,” “cooperation,” “achieve their goals,” and “improve their skills,” so the main topic is generally identifiable. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors are noticeable, including “compition,” “Coopration,” “employess,” and “fo.” Repetition of “competition” and “work” also makes the discussion less precise. Some phrases are awkward, such as “start compition” and “compete others.” Build a wider range of topic vocabulary and learn common collocations, for example, “foster cooperation,” “compete with classmates,” and “work towards a shared goal.” Proofreading spelling would make the ideas easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and a longer sentence beginning “when students start…,” showing some effort to vary sentence structure. However, control is inconsistent. The opening needs a finite verb (“competition becoming trendy”), and “it encourage them” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Although” is incomplete, and “I will discuss both in this essay” does not clearly express a position. There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, such as “get good marks to compete others and increase their knowledge.” Use complete clauses, check agreement and articles, and practise combining ideas with accurate subordinate clauses. A final proofread for capitalisation and punctuation would improve clarity.

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