Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Competition has become an integral part of everyone's life in current times. There is an ongoing debate concerning the competition in a person's life. while some people argue that it has a good impact on one's life. Whereas, other believe that one should work with cooperation rather competing against others. This essay will contend that although, teamwork is essential, but, competing can help one to reach its peak efficiency more easily.
The proponents of the former view argue that competition plays a crucial role in a person's life. This can be attributed to attaining the highest level of the life in terms of skill, ability and knowledge. For instance, an employee can work on its highest efficiency while competing with colleagues in an intention to get a higher salary and bonus - which is indeed beneficial for both the employee as well as the host company. Thus, it can be considered as a positive approach for anyone.
Conversely, the advocates of the latter view believe that team work and cooperating with others can be more beneficial. This can be linked to the fact that one can perform higher when working in group. For example, working as a team can help the company to achieve targets more easily and in the short term. Therefore, groupwork is considered to have benefits.
As per my perspective, the former view can be considered more viable than the latter, as it has more merits than demerits such as, in groups leader is the one who is given more attention. Although, one should not ignore the flip side of it and should take any decision accordingly.
On the way to conclude, I reaffirm my statement that the former viewpoint is more convincing than the latter.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both competition and cooperation and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a brief example for competition (employees seeking bonuses), the explanation for cooperation is quite thin, focusing only on 'achieving targets'. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of these concepts with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples. Your position is clear throughout, but the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'The proponents of the former view', 'Conversely', and 'Therefore' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward sentence structures and punctuation errors, such as the fragmented sentences in the introduction ('While some people argue... Whereas, other believe...'). Improving the transition between sentences and ensuring that your cohesive devices are used to connect complete thoughts rather than fragments will improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'integral part', 'proponents', 'viable', and 'merits'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reach its peak efficiency' (should be 'reach their peak efficiency') and 'attaining the highest level of the life' (which is unnatural). You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding awkward phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic, topic-specific collocations would help you achieve a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. For example, the introductory paragraph contains sentence fragments and incorrect punctuation ('Although, teamwork is essential, but, competing...'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and pronoun usage, such as 'one... its peak efficiency' and 'other believe'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for punctuation and agreement errors.
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