Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In competitive world, competition has become significantly more common as compared to the past. while some individuals argue that competition is a good thing, others believe that we should try to cooperate more instead of competing against each other. This essay will explore both perspectives along with valid reasons in the following paragraphs before presenting my opinion.
On the one hand, supporters of the former view argue that it enhances the performance of students. Due to heavy competition, they always try to give their best and comes up with new ideas, which can lead to improve their performance. A clear illustration of this is that many schools organise quiz competition in which pupils compete with each others. Consequently, this can foster their adrenaline rush . In addition, it creates the wining mentality among students and always to the win. For example, in many sports such as chess they always think about win rather than lose. Moreover, it can foster the innovation because of extreme competition.
On the other hand, advocates of the latter view believe that we should try to cooperate more instead of comparing ourselves with others. This is primarily because constant comparison raises stress levels and damages self-esteem, which can cause serious mental issues such as extreme stress and depression.
In conclusion, although competition raises anxiety and mental trauma, I strongly believe that it is good idea. Not only does it improve performance of students, but also it foster innovcation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum length requirement, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the main points are relevant, they are somewhat superficial and lack sufficient depth or detailed examples. For instance, the discussion on 'innovation' is mentioned but not explained or illustrated effectively. To improve, you should expand on your arguments with more specific evidence and ensure you meet the word count to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure could be improved by ensuring that each paragraph has a more robust topic sentence and a clearer concluding thought. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the brevity of the conclusion limits the overall coherence of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'wining mentality' (winning) and 'foster the adrenaline rush', which is not a natural collocation. You also have some spelling errors like 'innovcation'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are precise and contextually appropriate. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to incorporate more academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow. Examples include 'In competitive world' (missing article), 'comes up with new ideas' (subject-verb agreement error: 'they come'), 'compete with each others' (incorrect pluralization), and 'it foster innovcation' (subject-verb agreement). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading your work to correct subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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