Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the modern world, competition in every field is growing rapidly. Some individuals thought that competition at workplace and school is a beneficial while others believe that it should be cooperate. In this essay we will discuss both sides of views.
To begin with positive side, competition is not bad perspective it gives several opportunities and career growth to a worker as well as learner. It will give chance to achieve personal growth in a business or work, which feels person highly motivated towards the goal. Additionally, the exposure in any particular field is a crucial to compete with competitors. Furthermore, for school educators purpose competition gives opportunity to get better grades which gives scholarships to students, that will aid to learners' further higher education. What is more, it creates a top reputation of the school. For example, nowadays there are several highly reputed schools who give prizes every year like rupees to the top rankers of the school, as a result other children's also see and take motivation for better grades.
On the other hand many people believe that competition is not good however, in my opinion it is totally wrong because without competition no one get high package jobs and businesses. As a result, many companies may suffer from huge losses. In contrast, every employee or worker stayed remained as same position which leads the shortage of the financial risks. For instance, workers are can not able to earn enough and it leads low lives and they are not able to enjoy their life.
To conclude, although competition is growing constantly, it is essential to every worker for proper lives to manage the expenses.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding the 'shortage of financial risks' in the second body paragraph is unclear and lacks logical depth. While the position is stated, the supporting points are repetitive and lack sufficient elaboration to reach a higher band. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear, logical explanation rather than just a general statement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To begin with positive side' and 'What is more' are used, but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'every employee or worker stayed remained as same position', which disrupts the flow of the argument. Improving the variety and precision of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'low lives' instead of 'a low standard of living' and 'high package jobs'. Some terms are used repetitively, such as 'competition' and 'growth'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or varied vocabulary limits the score. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic terminology rather than relying on basic descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'Some individuals thought that competition... is a beneficial' (article/noun usage), 'workers are can not able to' (double modal/verb error), and 'other children's also see' (unnecessary possessive). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is usually discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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