Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It has long been the subject of discussion, where some people believe that competition in work life, student life, and daily life is a good thing, while others believe that we should cooperate rather than compete. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view before reaching a concrete conclusion.

To commence with, one of the significant benefits of competition is that it improves our concentration. To clarify it more precisely, if an individual has more competition in his class to chase other he would concentrate on his study, work, etc more effectively. Furthermore, competition also helps in many ways. For instance, a survey was held by Deakin University, which highlighted the importance of competition in our lives. Hence, it also helps us in our promotion, getting a great score, and always pushes us to our limits.

Moving on further, it also has various demerits, like sometimes in the rat race of competition, we forget about our families. To elaborate, in India, there are plenty of competitive exams, and in pursuit of those exams, students have to forget about everything expect there course. For instance, a recent study was conducted, 55% people were really happy with making the competition. Therefore, collaboration between governments, corporations, and citizens to ensure and combat the issues.

To sum up, this essay has several problems and solutions that should be considered carefully. In the future, it is important to reduce its negative impacts so it can bring positive outcomes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the development is limited. The essay is 245 words, falling short of the 250-word requirement, which necessitates a penalty. While the introduction and body paragraphs introduce relevant points, the supporting evidence is often vague or confusing. For example, the reference to a study where '55% people were really happy with making the competition' is unclear and lacks logical connection to the argument about the demerits of competition. The conclusion is also generic and does not effectively summarize the main points or clearly restate the writer's position, leading to an underdeveloped response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'Moving on further' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically. The transition between the discussion of competition and the conclusion is weak, as the final paragraph introduces a vague mention of 'problems and solutions' that were not clearly established in the body. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the link between the previous arguments and the proposed 'solutions' is missing. Paragraphing is present but the internal logic within paragraphs needs strengthening.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'making the competition' and 'expect there course' (likely a typo for 'except their course'). The student relies on somewhat repetitive phrasing and basic vocabulary. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring correct word forms are used consistently throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede flow. For instance, 'if an individual has more competition in his class to chase other he would concentrate' contains grammatical errors in structure and pronoun usage. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and spelling, such as 'expect' instead of 'except' and 'there' instead of 'their'. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to proofreading and sentence construction is required.

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