Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that competition at schools, workplaces and in everyday life creates a positive impact in a persons life. Whereas others are of the opinion that we should be helping each other instead of trying to outcompete others .This essay will discuss both points of views further in the essay .
People who believe that competition is essential and beneficial in almost every aspect of life tend to do so for various reasons . The most common one is that it acts as a source of motivation for them to achieve their aims and goals, both personally and professionally.
In school many students are mostly working hard because of the competitive nature of the examinations undertaken and that they go the extra mile in order to outcompete other fellows .This is particularly due to them setting a benchmark to achieve particular marks to surpass their fellows which drives them to stay focused and work hard even when their mind tries to deviate towards other activities like videogames as when achieved would lead to pride and prizes .
Similarly even in professional workplaces companies set objectives for employees and aim to create a competitive environment by giving special bonuses to best employees and various awards and recognition so that employees work productively are motivated as they are aware of the benefits of outperforming other fellow employees whilst also improving their quality of work as well.
On the other hand, many disagree that competition is useful as they believe in focusing on collective effort instead of competing against others. This is because many view it as immoral as they believe it leads to toxicity in our lives . As in many workplaces many employees tend to be self focused because of the competition resulting in issues like jealousy and insecurities as instead of uplifting others many choose to misguide new employees even going as far as spreading hurtful rumors so that their reputation can be damaged in front of their superiors. This creates a damaging and toxic impact on a personal level as empathy is replaced by greed and other vices which affects the life of a person in all aspects .
In conclusion, even though competition especially toxic competition is very harmful for a persons life if people can be made aware and it is made sure that competition is not unhealthy then it can lead to a positive impact but only if it is to a certain extent as inspiration can be taken from our coworkers or fellow students helping us and others to achieve our goals.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of motivation in schools and the potential for toxic environments in workplaces. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the body paragraphs. While the prompt asks for a discussion of both views, the conclusion could have been more integrated into the overall argument rather than just summarizing. The position is consistent, but the depth of analysis could be improved by providing more nuanced examples rather than relying on general statements about 'motivation' or 'jealousy'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the body and finally the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition 'Similarly even in professional workplaces' is a bit clunky. There are also some issues with punctuation, such as spaces before periods (e.g., 'others .This') and inconsistent comma usage, which occasionally disrupts the flow of the text. Referencing is generally clear, but the essay would benefit from a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'outcompete', 'benchmark', and 'empathy', which is positive. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'a persons life' (should be 'a person's life') and 'outcompete other fellows' (which sounds slightly unnatural). The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score. Spelling is generally accurate, but the overall lexical control is somewhat limited.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the student attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, there are missing apostrophes ('persons life'), run-on sentences, and awkward phrasing like 'as when achieved would lead to pride and prizes'. The punctuation errors, particularly the inconsistent spacing before punctuation marks, are distracting. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence punctuation would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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