Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the contemporary era, many individuals argue that comparing ourselves with each other is significantly beneficial such as in career, education and above all in our daily lifestyles. While other folks argue that we need to try to cooperate with each other in hard situations as compared to competing alone in the race. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement, comparing ourselves to others is not a good thing; we just lose our confidence in this way. This essay I will examine both views and include my own view.
On the other hand, the major drawbacks of comparing ourselves with others are significantly harmful because many young people just copy others' lifestyles and in many phases they can't afford such things in their daily routine. However, in educational purposes many students compare our mark sheets with other students; it mainly affects our mindset, goals as well as our confidence. For instance, in career purposes many people are jobless and some have good-paying jobs, other household necessary things many housewives just compare our house to others.
On the other hand, another beneficial thing is that we should need to improve our mindset and thoughts. Many folks say that helping each other in any bad situation is a really positive impact on our health, rather than being in competition with each other. As we know that helping is caring; whenever we can help anyone, on the other side someone also helps us in any challenging situation. To illustrate, helping each other will make us more energetic and we feel more relaxed.
To sum up, both views have significant impact on our daily lives, but I firmly believe that comparing ourselves with others is really harmful.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on competition in the workplace is limited to a brief mention of 'jobless' people and housewives, which lacks depth and logical connection to the prompt. The essay would benefit from more specific, well-reasoned examples rather than general statements. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments are under-developed, preventing a higher score. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct argument supported by a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical; for example, 'On the other hand' is used to introduce both the second and third paragraphs, which is confusing since the second paragraph discusses the drawbacks of competition and the third discusses the benefits of cooperation. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the shift between 'we', 'our', and 'many people'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a reliance on basic, repetitive words like 'good', 'bad', and 'things'. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'comparing ourselves with each other' (which is the topic, but the phrasing is repetitive) and 'educational purposes' used in a context where 'academic settings' would be more appropriate. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and avoid overusing generic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'This essay I will examine' is grammatically incorrect, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency (e.g., 'many students compare our mark sheets'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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