Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, competition is one of the most discussed topics in the world. Some people think that it brings many benefits, while others think that it causes serious problems. But, I firmly believe that competition in every sector is not a positive thing. Additionally, We should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. This essay will discuss both views and explain why I support my statement.

Firstly, there are several reasons why cooperation is more beneficial. Many people cannot win the competition at work and school. If we give them let it go, they are really happy with this thing. I think competition is not a bad thing, but if they failed in competition then some people judged their results which is not a good things. Some parents and company owner creates a pressure them. In additionally, they feel frustrating. Therefore, if we do not judge about the competition results, people stay happy with mental peace.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks about competition. For instance, when some students cannot complete theirs parents fulfil dream, their parents create a pressure. They compare others students. As a results, many student feel depressed and anxiety. They feel more frustrating. Moreover, students take a attempt suicide. Another example is working sector such as business and shopping. This sectors are also large competition. They are not provide break between the people which is not a good thing. For this reason, some people earn more money or don't enough much money for their family. Although, In working fields the company ask for a bribe from the employers, if they cannot give a bribe his job lost.

In conclusion, ever issue has advantages and disadvantages, and this topics no exception. While it can be helpful in some ways, it may also create problems in others. Personally, I believe that with proper awareness and balance, we can enjoy the benefits of competition and cooperation while avoiding it negative effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention the drawbacks of competition, the arguments regarding the benefits of cooperation are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, well-developed examples. The conclusion contradicts your earlier stance by suggesting a balance, which makes your position slightly unclear. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-supported point rather than repeating the same general ideas about 'pressure' and 'happiness'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', their usage is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate (e.g., 'In additionally'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the use of transition words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'take a attempt suicide', 'working sector', and 'don't enough much money'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to express more complex ideas accurately. To achieve a higher score, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'company owner creates'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they are not provide'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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