Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, competition is one of the most discussed topics in the world. Some people think that it brings many benefits, while others think that it causes serious problems. But, I firmly believe that competition in every sector is not a positive thing. Additionally, we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. This essay will discuss both views and explain why I support my statement.
Firstly, there are several reasons why cooperation is more beneficial. Many people cannot win the competition at work and school. If let them, they are really happy with this thing. I think competition is not a bad thing, but if they fail in competition then some people judge their results which is not a good thing. Some parents and company owners create a pressure on. In addition, they feel frustrated. Therefore, if we do not judge competition results, people stay happy with mental peace.
On the other hand, there are some drawbacks to competition. For instance, when some students cannot complete their parents fulfil dreams, their parents create a pressure. They compare other students. As a result, many students feel depressed and anxious. They feel more frustrated. Moreover, students attempt to commit. Another example is the working sector such as business and shopping. These sectors are also highly competitive. They do not provide break between the people which is not a good thing. For this reason, some people earn more money or do not earn enough much money for their family. Although In working fields the company ask for a bribe from the emplyees, if they cannot give a bribe his job is lost.
In conclusion, every issue has advantages and disadvantages, and this topic is no exception. While it can be helpful in some ways, it may also create problems in others. Personally, I believe that with proper awareness and balance, we can enjoy the benefits of competition and cooperation while avoiding its negative effects.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, though the development of ideas is inconsistent. The arguments regarding the negative impacts of competition are somewhat repetitive and lack clear logical progression. For example, the point about 'bribes' in the workplace is introduced abruptly and is not clearly linked to the broader topic of competition. Furthermore, the conclusion contradicts the introduction; the introduction states that competition is 'not a positive thing,' while the conclusion suggests a balanced approach. This lack of consistency in the position affects the overall clarity of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow between and within them is often weak. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'), they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately. For instance, the transition 'If let them, they are really happy with this thing' is unclear and disrupts the flow of the argument. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear, cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas precisely. Phrases like 'this thing' and 'not a good thing' are used frequently, which is overly simplistic for an academic task. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'create a pressure on' and 'do not earn enough much money'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the presence of basic errors in word formation and collocation prevent the response from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'If let them, they are really happy' and 'the company ask for a bribe from the emplyees'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that occasionally impede readability. The frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as subject-verb agreement and article usage—is noticeable throughout the text, which limits the overall grammatical range and accuracy.
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