Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In modern societies, the competition has increased among the individuals at work, at school and in daily life. Some people think that it is beneficial for the progress. Others argue that we should cooperate with each other rather than competing. In this essay, I will discuss both sides before presenting my opinion in favor of cooperative behavior.
On one hand, proponents say that competition helps individuals to progress in personal as well as professional life. For instance, in educational institutes, students compete with their fellows, and try to work more hard in order to get more marks than their peers. Due to competition, they put extra efforts, and progress positively in their academics. In addition, individuals get inspired from others' lifestyle and try to make their living standards better. They do struggle beyond their capacities to earn more money, improve their appearance, and update their house or car.
On the other hand, opponents believe that everyone can not achieve everything by competition, as we all have different resources and cognitive abilities. In addition, competition can impacts person's mental health rather than improving their progress. For instance, some people have strong financial backgrounds, by competing against those individuals will results in depression and jealousy. In contrast, we should help those who need our assistance in terms of guidance, money, and suggestions. For example, if any student is weak at mathematics, other who can do it better should cooperate and teach their fellow rather than competing. As a result, both will get advantage, as it will polish skills and make concepts more clear.
In my opinion, although competition at schools, offices, and daily lives can help us to motivate to do more struggle for better results, it also builds constant and unnecessary pressure which can impact our physical as well as mental health. Cooperation and mutual efforts can improve progression as a society rather than the individual success.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both competition and cooperation before clearly stating a personal position. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported, such as the example of students helping each other in mathematics. However, some arguments could be further extended; for instance, the discussion on 'lifestyle' competition is a bit brief. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that the link between the examples and the broader societal impact is more explicitly articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'In addition,' and 'In contrast' are used effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, covering topics like 'cognitive abilities,' 'financial backgrounds,' and 'mutual efforts.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'work more hard' (should be 'work harder') and 'get advantage' (should be 'gain an advantage'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the more precise, academic collocations that would characterize a higher band score. Expanding the use of topic-specific synonyms would help improve the lexical variety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'competition can impacts' (should be 'can impact'), 'everyone can not' (should be 'cannot'), and 'other who can do it better' (should be 'others who can do it better'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of modal verbs. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences would help in achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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