Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in my country every place in competition. In school also student have competition for their classmate, in office colleague have competition. Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily routine is a good thing. Others think that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. This essay discuss both the perspective before giving my opinion.

On the one hand, Competition can be a highly positive tool for a child's upbringing, but its impact depends entirely on whether it is framed as a healthy drive for self-improvement or an unhealthy obsession with winning. When managed correctly, competition prepares children for real world challenges, builds emotional maturity, and teaches them that failure is a natural stepping stone to success. For example, Comparing oneself to coworkers is a form of social comparison theory, and it can be a highly effective driver for career growth. When you see a colleague succeeding, it can act as a benchmark for what is possible, pushing you to work harder, focus more, and upgrade your skills. Therefore, it clear why some people support this view.

On the other hand, some people argue that we should focus on cooperating more rather than competing against each other, as competition has certain drawbacks. This is due to the fact that without competition, people cannot prove themselves in the workplace. For instance, employees may become less motivated to improve their skills and achieve better results if there is no competitive environment.

However, I believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing because it is more beneficial the long term.

In conclusion, both view have their own advantages and disadvantages. However, I believe that competition in every place as it more benefits overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the development is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph provides a good discussion of competition, the second paragraph is confusing. You argue that competition has drawbacks, but then immediately state that 'without competition, people cannot prove themselves,' which actually supports the pro-competition side rather than the cooperation side. This creates a logical contradiction that weakens your position. Furthermore, your opinion is stated but lacks sufficient supporting evidence or depth. To improve, ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on the specific viewpoint requested and that your own opinion is integrated more cohesively throughout the essay rather than just mentioned in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the logical progression within the second body paragraph is flawed because the supporting points do not align with the topic sentence. Additionally, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that every sentence within a paragraph directly supports the main idea of that paragraph and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upbringing,' 'emotional maturity,' and 'social comparison theory' effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing and some awkward word choices, such as 'in my country every place in competition' and 'it more benefits overall.' The vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid repeating the same words (like 'competition') too frequently in close proximity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt some complex ideas, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('student have competition,' 'both view have') and missing articles or prepositions ('in school also student,' 'it clear why'). Punctuation is generally functional, but these persistent errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on basic grammatical accuracy—specifically pluralization and verb forms—before attempting more complex sentence structures. Proofreading for small errors like missing 'is' or 'are' will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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