Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Have you ever wondered competition actually promote ourselves to be more stimulating? While competition might convey huge determination and develop strengths more stronger, however, it pushed ourselves to be more anxious and cause some mental predicaments. As for, let’s figure it out pros and cons of each arguments.

Firstly, competition allows us to be more concentrate in certain situations. For example, school has pure purpose of achieving excellent results in academics which requires our consistent efforts. As for, the competition could be the act as a catalyst for innovation and development, and it could also serves as a driving force behind progress especially during student role.

On the other hand, competition might damage on formation of personal character and cause health predicaments. For example, if they compared what they can be better it would definitely positively transformed, however, there have some aspects that it arduous for fully changed like appearance, family background, and some country’s regulations. Furthermore, we might confront less happiness, less satisfaction, and stress for continuously comparing themselves with others.

From my perspective, l believe competition is not always the right answer for everyone. Happiness is a most highest priority for me, and competitive society will destroy our well-being sightly in long-term. They want more commitment and acceptance from others and might nearly forgot about true meaning of appreciation. I convince that we will definitely develop ourselves better start from appreciation instead of comparing ourselves with others. As for, l stand for peoples who desire to make better world that everyone can feel happy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding the 'pros' of competition is limited to a brief mention of academic performance, and the 'cons' section relies on vague concepts like 'mental predicaments' without specific, well-explained examples. The introduction is also slightly confusing due to awkward phrasing, which obscures the initial position. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more concrete illustrations and ensure that your arguments are logically linked to the prompt throughout the entire essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'As for' are used incorrectly at the start of sentences, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Additionally, the transition between the discussion of the two views and your own opinion is abrupt. While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the text feel disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition signals will significantly enhance the readability and logical flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'convey huge determination', 'mental predicaments', and 'most highest priority'. Some words are used in ways that do not fit the context, such as 'sightly' instead of 'slightly' or 'convince' instead of 'am convinced'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the repetitive nature of the vocabulary prevent the essay from achieving a higher score. You should focus on learning collocations and using more academic, precise terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'competition... promote', 'it could also serves'), incorrect sentence structures, and misuse of prepositions. The attempt at complex sentences often results in errors, such as 'if they compared what they can be better it would definitely positively transformed'. While simple sentences are generally clear, the lack of control over more complex structures limits the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point for improvement.

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