Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In daily life routine, the compitition at work, at school and in the daily life is a good thing is believed by some people. While, on the other side others think that rather than competing with each other we should cooperate with them. Both sides have its own benefits and drawbacks.
In todays world, the competition has been increased in almost every filed. This competition is nescessary because it makes the children more effective in studies. The more the competition in studies the more students tends to do hard work that makes them effective and makes them intrested in studies. In addition to this, at work and in daily life competition tends to become a good thing. Due to competition at work everyone wants to get more oppurtunities in their working place. Every job person wants to get high post in the working field to gain the financial stability. Due to this the competition increases and every one wants to get more than others.
On other hand, according to the people who advocates that competition is not nescessary tends to cooperate with each other. First of all, the competition in any field of the life kills the achievements. For instance, if a person compares his achievements with the person who is superior to him. It kills the achievements of the person. Secondly, due to competition people can become demotivated in their goals. Like as, if a student with the 80% effeciency compares himself with that of 95% effecient student, he becomes demotivated and leads tro kill his achievements.
Concluding the topic, in my opinion I think that cooperation is more nescessary than that of making competition. As competition makes the persons demotivated and they got mentally stress. So, we should need to cooperate to the people who are inferior. This makes the people stress free and the society becomes calm.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding competition 'killing achievements' is a bit vague and could have been better supported with more concrete examples. The explanation of why competition leads to stress is also quite brief. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting points with more depth and clarity, ensuring that the link between your examples and your main argument is more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In addition to this', 'On other hand', and 'First of all', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Like as, if a student...'. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'these') is always precise will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'compitition', 'nescessary', 'oppurtunities', 'effeciency', 'intrested'). These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone of the essay. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial stability' and 'demotivated', the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and try to incorporate more precise collocations to express your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the competition... is a good thing is believed by some people' (awkward passive construction) and 'leads tro kill his achievements' (preposition/verb error). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure accuracy and proofreading for basic grammatical slips would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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