Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Due to the development of growing awareness, individuals around the world are profoundly concerned about the competition. Some individuals believe that competition at work, at school and in a daily life is a good thing. In the case of others, the opposite is true. In this essay, i will present a full fledged discussion on either stance prior to drawing a conclusion including my perception.
There are a considerable number of individuals out there who sincerely hold the belief that, some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing for it has a significant influence on people or children. To strengthen their stance, as a result, they put forward a compelling array of convincing arguments. Among them, the one that undoubtedly stands out is synonymous with improving their ability. In other words, on the condition that people work hard it has no surprise they will gain experience. To cite an example, we see many single-child students wants to be first in exam because it is a competition for them. As a result, it brings absolutely positive impacts on student.
Instead of taking into account of former viewpoint, however, some people nurturing the opposite thought state that others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. To be more precise, in the event that people cooperate to others without any iota of doubt they will not reach goals before them. In consequence, it brings undesirable impact for the people.
In essence, having thoroughly analysed the statement from various angles, it is needless to say that either side has strong arguments. However, I wholeheartedly believe that competition is a great influence for every individuals to build their career.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments provided, such as 'improving their ability' or 'gaining experience', are somewhat vague and lack specific, well-explained examples. The example of 'single-child students' is underdeveloped and does not clearly illustrate how competition functions in a broader societal context. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with more detailed reasoning and concrete evidence rather than relying on repetitive phrasing. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of the discussion remains at a basic level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In the case of others' or 'Instead of taking into account of former viewpoint'. Some transitions feel forced, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. While there is a logical progression from the introduction to the conclusion, the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There is a tendency to use wordy, slightly awkward phrases like 'full fledged discussion' or 'nurturing the opposite thought'. Some collocations are inaccurate, such as 'in the event that people cooperate to others'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of sophisticated or idiomatic expressions that would demonstrate a higher level of control over the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'in a daily life' (article error), 'i will' (capitalization), 'students wants' (subject-verb agreement), and 'cooperate to others' (preposition error). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over basic grammar, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, while also attempting more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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