Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to the development of growing awareness, individuals around the world are profoundly concerned about the competition. Some individuals believe that competition at work, at school and in a daily life is a good thing. In the case of others, the opposite is true. In this easy, i will present a full-fledged discussion on either stance prior to drawing a conclusion including my perception.

There are a considerable number of individual out there who sincerely hold the belief that, some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing for it has a significant influence on people or children. To strengthen their stance, as a result, they put forward a compelling array of convincing arguments. Among them, the one that undoubtedly stands out is synonymous with improving their ability. In other words, on the condition that people work hard it has no surprise they will gain experience. To cite an example, we see many single-child students want to be first in exams because it is a competition for them. As a result, it brings absolutely positive impacts on students.

Instead of taking into account the former viewpoint, however, some people nurturing the opposite thought state that others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. To be more precise, in the even that people cooperate with others without any iota of doubt they will not reach goals before them. In consequence, it brings an undesirable impact for the people.

In essence, having thoroughly analysed the statement from various angles, it is needless to say that either side has strong arguments. However, I wholeheartedly believe that competition is a great influence for every individuals to build their career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments provided are somewhat repetitive and lack depth; for example, the explanation of why competition improves ability is vague and relies on a very simple example of students wanting to be 'first in exams'. The discussion on cooperation is also underdeveloped, failing to provide concrete examples or a nuanced explanation of why it might be superior. To reach a higher band, you need to extend your ideas with more specific evidence or logical reasoning rather than just stating that an argument is 'compelling'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In other words', 'To cite an example', and 'In essence'. However, some of these are used mechanically or slightly inappropriately, such as 'In the even that' (likely a typo for 'event') and 'In consequence', which makes the flow feel a bit stiff. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother to better highlight the contrast between competition and cooperation.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including phrases like 'profoundly concerned', 'full-fledged discussion', and 'compelling array'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'in this easy' (likely meant 'essay'), 'every individuals' (should be 'every individual'), and 'it has no surprise' (should be 'it is no surprise'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a lack of precision. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and proofreading for minor slips in word form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'in the even that people cooperate... they will not reach goals before them' (which is confusingly phrased). There are also frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'a considerable number of individual' (should be 'individuals') and 'every individuals'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the grammatical control is inconsistent. You need to focus on ensuring that your complex structures are grammatically sound and that your subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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