Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this competitive era few individuals argue that

Competition at workplace, schools and even in everyday life is positive. While others think that people should cooperate with each other instead of competing. In this I will discuss both view and give my opinion.

Nowadays, there is immense battle is going on between public to outshine people around them. If take example of working place employees tend to compete silent war to get promotion. Similarly, in schools students try to achieve higher grades in their studies to acquire sense of superiority. Same things apply on people’s daily life, to gain respect in the society they always try to buy expensive houses, wear branded clothes and premium cars to show their wealth and status.

On the other hand, although being in competition assist you to achieve more than others. But some people believe that rather than competing, society should cooperate together to live hassle free life. Unnecessary competition makes individuals life hard. Because it diverts their mind from focusing on personal growth to pleasing other people in society. As a result, they expand their financial limits, put them into dept. Moreover, mental ailments such as, depression become more frequent, as sometimes individuals failed to get that things which are status symbol for society.

In conclusion. In my opinion competing with people at work, schools and in daily life support them to stay ahead in their life. However, it comes with few adverse challenges, like depressive lifestyle and ignoring personal wellbeing to grow more for public status.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on competition in daily life focuses heavily on material possessions, which limits the scope of the argument. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points raised in the body paragraphs. To improve, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and ensure that your position is consistently supported throughout the essay rather than just stated in the introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'As a result', to link your thoughts. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Same things apply on people’s daily life'. Additionally, the punctuation in the conclusion ('In conclusion. In my opinion...') is incorrect, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring accurate punctuation would help to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'immense battle', 'outshine', and 'adverse challenges'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'compete silent war' (should be 'engage in a silent war') and 'get that things' (should be 'obtain those items'). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'hassle free life'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('there is immense battle is going on'), missing articles ('at workplace', 'in schools'), and incorrect preposition usage ('apply on'). Additionally, there are sentence fragments and punctuation errors, such as starting a sentence with 'But' after a full stop. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points. Increasing your control over basic grammar and sentence construction is essential.

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