Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many individual believe that competing with each other at jobs and school is a good thing. In contrast, other people think that we should not compete with each other but cooperate more and build a relationship. In my perspective, by competing with each other we are unable to achieve goals, rather than competition we should focus on building a good relationship with team and have a good environment. Additionally, help each other to manage difficult problems and issues related to work and also work effectively in team to solve the problems.

On the one hand, competition with colleagues or friends is not a good way to achieve objectives in life. While competing we can only face difficulities and children are unable to maintain a good grades in competition to each other. This is mainly because, children only focus on maintaining their first position they often forget relationship with friends and also loses their mental abilities. For instance, by competing with friends or staff we are unable to maintain our position and we also damage the relationship in sense to achieve a higher rank than friend.

On the other hand, building a relationship with team members can reduce stress. Furthermore, cooperating with each other is a key to success and also help staff to solve the particular problem. In addition, rather than competing with each other work effectively with colleagues to enhance productivity and able to learn new skills which benefits you in future.

In conlusion, from my view we should focus on team building and a effective relationship with team to achieve goals and success in life rather than competing with each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that competition leads to stress and a loss of relationships, the points are repetitive and lack specific, well-developed examples. For instance, the mention of children losing mental abilities is a broad claim that is not sufficiently explained or supported. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a distinct, logical reason supported by a concrete example or a more detailed explanation of the consequences. The conclusion is present but could be more robust in summarizing the main points discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition' to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences can feel a bit disjointed. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'good thing,' 'bad way,' and 'difficulties.' There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'maintain a good grades' (should be 'maintain good grades') and 'in sense to achieve' (which is awkward phrasing). To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and precise collocations related to the topic of workplace and academic environments, such as 'foster collaboration' or 'detrimental effects.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Many individual believe' should be 'Many individuals believe') and article usage. There are also errors in sentence construction, such as 'children are unable to maintain a good grades in competition to each other.' While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization errors to improve your accuracy.

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