Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Ideally individuals have a thought that competition at work or at any educational institute in our day-to-day life is a righteous thing.Meanwhile,everyone else assumes that we should coordinate more instead of internal contesting among ourselves.From my perspective,i believe that having a healthy war with others is not the right thing.
Co-operating with your fellow mates can help everyone in your surrounding be it your workplace or at school.It assists us to improve each human being.For instance,while working on a group science project in school we need to share our innovations to each other.If we compete internally someone else will take the lead and win.It supports us to be free and accomplish our targets.Being in a group builds our personally and confidence.
On the other side,if we encourage youngsters to compete in daily life for a long run that will never be beneficial for them and others.School is place where kids start developing their mindset and if these things happen on a daily basis it will affect them mentally and physically.Each child is unique in their own way.For example,my friends mother used to compare me and her daughter after we got our results her mother used harsh words in front of the entire class which lead to mental stress on my friend and the next exam she performed the same.
In conclusion,we should not compare anyone.Let them explore and achieve things from their ability.No body should judge individuals.Being in a group helps to act right and learn from each others mistakes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide an example of a group project and a personal anecdote about a friend, the analysis remains quite superficial. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' behind these points. For instance, instead of just stating that competition affects children mentally, you could explain the long-term societal implications of a hyper-competitive culture. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, you use 'For instance' and 'For example' in close proximity. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, such as the jump from discussing group projects to the benefits of confidence. Improving the flow between sentences using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'righteous thing', 'healthy war', and 'good thing'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'internal contesting' and 'builds our personally'. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology. For example, instead of 'righteous thing', consider 'constructive approach'. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific vocabulary related to education and workplace dynamics would significantly boost your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'School is place'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'lead to mental stress' should be 'led'), and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent punctuation throughout your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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