Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some argue that if you don't compete with others, you will be left behind. While others say, rather than competing, you should be cooperating with others so that there would be collective growth.

The first ideology is that the competition at every field in daily life is a good thing. People who believe so, actually possess a mindset that tells them if there's no competition, there will be no growth at all. Such people tend to get dopamine by winning over others. For these people, ends over means is the priority always, as the only aim is to win.

The second perspective, on the other hand, is that there should always be cooperation. People should help each other, care for each other and in this way mutual growth can be assured. These are the people who really think of others as well, instead of just thinking about themselves in a selfish manner.

I personally believe that cooperation is the best way instead of competing with each other. There are many reasons to that. First of all, cooperation creates a sense of belonging among each other, whether it is a school, or work site, or in daily life, in general. Secondly, competition creates a sort of subconscious and indirect hate for others' win.

It may sound philosophical and might be argued on grounds of morality but the answer to how competition actually works, lies in the fact that it requires someone to lose in order to make you win. And I have personally seen people getting destroyed in the race of competition.

There was cousin of mine named as Arbab, whose only goal was to compete his brother in business, and eventually he developed hate against him. But he could never win, so rather than only working to make himself better, he eventually started planning to damage his business. Unfortunately couldn't do this as well, and ended up in depression, a serious psychological disorder.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that competition leads to 'dopamine' and 'ends over means,' these points are not fully explored in an academic context. The example of your cousin is personal and relevant, but it occupies a significant portion of the essay, which limits the space available for a more balanced discussion of the benefits of competition (e.g., innovation or efficiency). To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are supported by broader societal or professional examples rather than relying heavily on a single anecdote.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The first ideology,' 'The second perspective,' and 'First of all.' However, the transition between paragraphs is sometimes abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices can feel a bit mechanical. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack smooth flow, such as the opening paragraph, which consists of two separate sentences that could be better linked to improve the overall cohesion of the introduction.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'ideology,' 'mutual growth,' and 'psychological disorder.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'compete his brother' is incorrect; it should be 'compete with his brother.' The phrase 'dopamine by winning' is also slightly informal and scientifically imprecise in this context. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word choices are appropriate for a formal essay style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'There was cousin of mine named as Arbab' (missing article and awkward phrasing) and 'Unfortunately couldn't do this as well' (missing subject). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with sentence boundaries and clarity. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly enhance your accuracy.

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