Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent days, it is believed by many people that contest at work, at school and in day to day life is beneficial. While some think that we should work together more, rather than having rivalry against one another. This essay will discuss about its merits and downsides and give my own opinion on which one is more healthy.

Competition is essential for personal growth and motivation. Sometimes having a competitive environment on work, school and daily life can motivate individuals to work more and do better than others. For instance, At school there’s is always a rivalry between students on who will get better marks at examination.

However, competing against others people can be unhealthy and can hinder your own progress and goals. Sometimes when there is a high competition, an individual can suffer from severe stress and also can lose their sense of progress and goals. One clear example is during a SEE examination there’s a substantial competition on achieving a higher GPA and it puts constant pressure on students which leads to stress and anxiety. As a result, rivalry between an individual can be quite harmful for ones mental health and progress.

To conclude, competition can be advantageous for personal growth and it keeps you motivated. however, it can also have negative affects on health and ones progress. But what i believe is there should be healthy amount of competition which can lead to individual character development and productivity whether it is at work , at school or daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefits of competition and the drawbacks of stress, the arguments could be extended with more depth or nuanced examples. The introduction is slightly weak as the second sentence is a fragment ('While some think...'). To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the implications of the points raised rather than just stating them. The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, but the overall response is quite brief, which limits the depth of the discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'However', 'For instance', and 'As a result' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the opening paragraph is problematic because the second sentence is not a complete thought. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring all sentences are grammatically complete will improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'beneficial', 'rivalry', 'hinder', and 'advantageous'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, you use 'contest' instead of 'competition' in the opening, and 'on work' instead of 'at work'. There is also a minor error with 'negative affects' (should be 'effects'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your use of topic-specific collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you demonstrate an attempt at complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'there’s is always' (redundant verb), 'rivalry between an individual' (should be plural), and 'ones mental health' (missing apostrophe). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization after periods and the use of commas. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and basic punctuation rules will significantly improve your accuracy.

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