Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Over the past few centuries, the world has witnessed remarkable renovations,inventions and conflicts. These developments have significantly transformed the way societies and individual function. In this competitive era, some people argue that competition is a positive thing in working, school and daily life while other contend that people should adopt friendly nature and avoid competitions in lives.
On the one hand, having competition in every aspect of life can cause good effect on their outcomes until the carrying on working hard.Competition in school, working and daily life lead us to many results such as promoting to better position, taking god marks in exams etc. For instance, when any student or employee watching his friend or colleague doing excellent work, he also initiate his good progress.Additionally, competition gives us the lesson of working in peace, mantain patience in terrible era and never lose your hope.
On the other hand, some individuals believe that adopting cooperative nature and having good relations with other people is rather than competing against each other and making new enemies in your living circle through have unnecessary competion with them.Sometime this lead to embaracement and insult and has several disadvantages and weakpoints. It create gap between our dears after having competition with them.
In conclusion, competion can bring various good changes on ourselves. From my prospective, adopting competition in life has many advantages than the disadvantages.With competition, people initiate working hard for better outcomes and this would effect their entire life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument for competition is limited to 'promoting to better position' and 'taking god marks', which lacks depth. Furthermore, the response is 244 words long, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. This under-length impacts the overall development of the response, as the arguments are not fully extended. To improve, you should provide more detailed examples and ensure your essay meets the minimum length requirement to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For instance, the transition between the idea of competition and the 'lesson of working in peace' is abrupt and lacks logical connection. Additionally, some sentences are repetitive or lack clear referencing, such as 'Sometime this lead to embaracement', which makes the progression of ideas feel mechanical rather than fluid. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one will enhance your score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some basic terms like 'good effect', 'good changes', and 'weakpoints'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'renovations' (likely meaning 'innovations') and 'friendly nature' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or less common lexical items limits the score. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure you are using words in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'some people argue that competition is a positive thing in working, school and daily life' (should be 'at work'), 'he also initiate his good progress' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'this would effect their entire life' (confusing 'effect' with 'affect'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic grammatical rules, particularly verb tenses and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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