Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Some people believe that competition at work at school in daily life is a better thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other.
First of all,from my experience and knowledge the people right think that competition at work at school in daily life.Because competition at work is a good thing.Because many people who need for money.For example children needs,home needs etc.So, my experienceand knowledge it is a better thing that competition at work at school on daily life.
Second of all,other people believe that we should try to cooperate more,rather than competing against each other.From my experience and knowledge it is a better thing that we should try to cooprate other.Because the other people identity that behaviour.And the first talk to other people the identity that behaviour.So,it is a good thing that we should try to cooprate other.
To sum up,people is a right right believe that competition at work at school and in daily life is a good thing.Because many people who happy for work in life.Because the man who work for strong body.So,other people believe that we should try to cooprate other.The better thing that we should try to cooprate other because the man identity that behaviour etc.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 207 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, the points are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the arguments for competition are limited to 'money' and 'needs,' while the arguments for cooperation are vague and difficult to follow. The position is not clearly articulated or sustained throughout the essay. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for full development of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'Because' to start sentences and the phrase 'From my experience and knowledge' which appears multiple times. The connection between sentences is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely on basic words like 'good thing' and 'better thing' throughout the essay, which does not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the man identity that behaviour,' which is unclear and does not convey a precise meaning. To improve, you should aim to use more academic vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'incentivise,' 'collaboration,' 'productivity,' or 'interpersonal skills,' and work on using these words in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. There are frequent errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For instance, 'people is a right right believe' and 'the man who work for strong body' are grammatically incorrect and impede communication. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which are necessary to achieve a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb forms and subject-verb agreement, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for basic errors will also help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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