Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In Argue, some people think that competition at work, school and in daily life is a good thing. while others believe that if we try to compromise more, rather than competing against each other

From my perspective, it's a good thing to have competition in school, work, and daily life because if there is competition, everyone will work hard to get good marks and further opportunities that build confidence in the person to work harder to gain respect in surrondings. Mostly people like to have competition with one another to enjoy and elevate their potential so that they achieve greater success in their life because success makes you feel proud, and you go upon to the next steps if there is no challenge and competition in life. People don't do such types of efforts because they know he is single no more is with him that will beat him and go ahead. I also mention here about the competition if you lose or you fail in something school tasks work thing you gained the experience for life its good for you if you see that stage you work even more harder passion comes in you then you feel aggression and achieve that goal because nothing is impossible in this life if you do with pure intentions and honesty so i agreed that competition in school work school daily life is good for the life so you see what you havent seen or if you do some bad and get faliure and learn from it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of competition, but it fails to address the second part of the task: the view that we should cooperate more. The essay is essentially a one-sided argument. Furthermore, the position is not clearly maintained throughout, and the ideas are repetitive and lack sufficient development or relevant examples. The discussion of cooperation is limited to a single word in the introduction ('compromise'), which is not explored. To improve, you must ensure both sides of the argument are discussed in separate paragraphs and provide a clear, consistent opinion throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. It is written as a single, long paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas; the transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt. The logical flow is hindered by the repetitive nature of the arguments, and the lack of paragraphing makes the text appear as a stream of consciousness rather than a formal essay. You should use clear paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, the two sides of the argument, and the conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'surrondings' (surroundings), 'go upon to the next steps', and 'he is single no more is with him'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, and the repetition of words like 'competition' and 'work' limits the quality of the writing. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to include more academic collocations and synonyms, and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments. For example, 'In Argue, some people think...' and '...if you do some bad and get faliure and learn from it.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. The range of grammatical structures is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of complex sentences to improve your accuracy and range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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