Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this world competition become main stream media for the people, which they though it is a good thing. some argue that competition should be their in work and as well as in school. other thinks it opposite, rather than competing with each other in educational or cooperate world they should understand more without getting problem to yourself.

On the one hand, People loves to compete with each other. Because, it give them a spirit and try to stay motivated while work constantly without getting distracted, For example, Marvel and dc are the superhero franchise studio. They create live action series of superheros with great sense of filmography. Whereas, marvel is biggest competitor of dc from 90s which make dc to create movies like marvel to stay relavant in industry without getting vanished. Furthermore, Dc studios work very hard to get success like marvel.

In my opinion, their should competition but it ruin the entire creative things to maintain the peace while working with employee's.

On the other hand, someone argue that competition is race to maintain the first place in life. if we take too seriously in daily life it going to made harder to achieve specific goal. For example

a sportsperson in a running tournament, he leg get stuck in the hole while running but the person shows sportmanship in live race. He help the player to get near the finish line to complete the race. Futhermore , person who help the other player also get reward by the sponsor of the tournament.

Hence, competition should be there also but with yourself. Because, In the end even had trophy at home no one will ask.

every in this world did not remember second or third place

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The example regarding Marvel and DC is somewhat tangential and does not clearly illustrate the broader concept of workplace competition. The conclusion is abrupt and lacks clarity, particularly the phrase 'even had trophy at home no one will ask.' To improve, you should ensure that your examples directly support your main points and that your position is clearly articulated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'Hence' is used incorrectly at the start of the final paragraph, and transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the opening paragraph where the connection between the ideas is muddled. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'competition become main stream media' and 'without getting problem to yourself.' While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the lack of precision often hinders the clarity of your arguments. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are appropriate for the context of a formal essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'competition become', 'someone argue'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'if we take too seriously in daily life it going to made harder.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and apostrophes. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors to improve your accuracy.

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