Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that competition is a very helpful and motivating thing in increasing a person's skills whereas most of the humans find it pressurizing and tempting.

Though competition in most of the fields is proved to be much beneficial. A desire to be considered as a most knowledgeable and a competitive person originates mainly from taking parts in various competitions held at different levels. This makes a person more confident in a certain way and his will power to face difficulties gets elevated.

Whereas, I strongly believe that increasing competition might cause detrimental effects on a person's life and similarly on his health. The sense of continuously exceeding your competitor might give rise to rivalries and develop a feeling of hatred towards another person.

So on the other hand, competition could exacerbate a situation. The lasting thirst of always winning can also proved to be overwhelming and can cause anxiety and stress most of the time.

Furthermore, this issue has become increasingly prevalent whether competition has positive or negative effects. Most of the parents around the world encourages their children to take part in competitions to prove their credibility and for outstanding results.

They keep their expectations high that cause pressure for most of the children.

In conclusion, it is a common saying that excess of everything is bad which directly indicates that much competitions in society can lead to different problems and can affect a person's health badly. In most of the cases these situations worsen and can also give rise to suicides which affects a society in the worst possible way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that competition builds confidence, the explanation is brief. Similarly, the negative impacts are discussed, but the jump to extreme consequences like suicide in the conclusion feels underdeveloped and lacks a logical bridge from the previous points. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a concrete example or a more detailed explanation to fully support your claims, rather than relying on general assertions. The position is clear, but the depth of analysis needs to be more consistent to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed. For instance, the transition between the benefits of competition and the negative effects in the second paragraph is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one, creating a smoother narrative flow throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'prevalent', 'exacerbate', and 'detrimental'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'most of the humans' is unnatural; 'most people' would be more appropriate. Additionally, 'much competitions' is grammatically incorrect as 'competition' is uncountable in this context. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the errors occasionally draw attention. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations and ensuring that your word choices are natural and precise in the context of the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'Though competition in most of the fields is proved to be much beneficial' is a sentence fragment and contains a passive voice error. You also have subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'Most of the parents... encourages'. These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are punctuated correctly and are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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