Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The debate over the topic of competition at work, school or even in daily life is not new in our society. Some a proportion of the population are in favor of it while others believe that cooperation is more vital than a competition in culture. People who agree consider competition as a source of brainstorming whereas, the perspective of the other half is that the major element in the success of community is cooperation not competition.

The majority of the people usually agree with the integration of competition in various educational as well as professional activities. The particular reason for that is they believe that they could perform far better in the presence of competitors in an environment in contrast to their absence. In fact, societies who have positive competition among their citizens are more established and successful as compared to cooperative societies. Competition would also assist in gaining confidence while finishing the assignment because in a competitive environment the failure of one can be the gain of other so everyone should be motivated and devoted to their own tasks.

Conversely, the people who prefer coordination and cooperation over competition believe that competition leads to the development of personal conflicts which results in harmful outcomes. Negative competition or over competition also adds additional stress and burden on the mental health of a person. In fact, recent studies show that the competitive environment causes more digressional disorders in the vulnerable population in contrast to cooperative culture. From my perspective, i am also in favor of this stance that competition adds unnecessary anxiety. However, cooperative culture is based on the principle of encouraging other people to do their task with the same amount of passion. For example, in most cases, if a smooth brain person is working in a tough and challenging environment it will lead to the development of mental disorders of hypertension.

To conclude, the majority proportion of inhabitants of society is in favor of competition because from their point of view it boost creativity and dedication towards work and daily life activities however the minority half consider it as an extra burden for mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the benefits of competition are explained, the arguments for cooperation are less nuanced and rely on somewhat vague assertions. The example provided regarding a 'smooth brain person' is unclear and does not effectively support the argument about mental health. To reach a higher band, ensure that all points are supported with logical, well-explained examples rather than generalizations. The position is maintained throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved to better satisfy the requirements for a fully developed response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Conversely', 'In fact', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'the perspective of the other half'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure that ideas connect more naturally. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'brainstorming', 'integration', and 'vulnerable population'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'digressional disorders' and 'smooth brain person', which are not standard English usage. These errors occasionally impede the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using collocations accurately and ensuring that academic terms are used in the correct context rather than relying on potentially misused terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Some a proportion of the population', 'societies who have', and 'it will lead to the development of mental disorders of hypertension'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction that occasionally affect readability. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate the main points, but the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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