Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph provides information about the number of people who joined in for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne in Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, film club remained consistently the most popular activity that attracted people throughout the period, while those who attracted to martial arts activity fluctuated. The number of participants in table tennis and musical performances experienced a consistent rise, whereas those in amateur dramatics declined dramatically, making it the least popular activity by the end of the period.
Visitors of social centre preferred to participate in film club activity over the entire 20-year.In 2000, there was just over 60 individuals in this activity before declining to 60 in 2010, which was followed by gradual recovery to reach around the same number of participants in 2000. The figure for martial arts fluctuated between approximately 40 and around 31 from 2000 to 2015, before levelling out at roughly 35 participant in 2020.
The number of people who attracted to table tennis was about 15 in 2000, before rising to about 20 in 2010, while by 2020, this figure had grown to reach just over 50 individuals. A similar an upward trend was observed with those in musical performances, people started to join this activity just after 2005, there number became 10 in 2010, with mild increasing was noticed afterward to around 20 by 2020. By contrast, amateur dramatics became less popular over the time, this figure was around 25 in 2000 before falling rapidly after 2005, reaching it lowest participant in 2020 at roughly 5.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 2.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0
The candidate has written an essay that completely misinterprets the task prompt. The prompt provided in the instructions asks the student to discuss competition versus cooperation at work, at school, and in daily life, and to give an opinion. However, the student has mistakenly written a response about a line graph showing activities at a social centre in Melbourne (which appears to be an Academic Task 1 response). Because the writing addresses a completely different topic than the Task 2 prompt provided, it fails to address any part of the actual task requirements. Consequently, the task response is entirely off-topic for the given prompt, resulting in a low band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
Despite the severe task mismatch, the text itself exhibits a discernible structure typical of a report, featuring an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Cohesive devices are employed with some success, such as transitional phrases like 'Overall', 'Visitors of social centre', and 'By contrast'. Paragraphing is used logically to group related information about different activities. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes mechanical or awkward, such as 'those who attracted to martial arts activity' and 'people started to join this activity just after 2005, there number became 10'. Progression is evident in how data is introduced and compared, but overall organizational flaws and repetitive phrasing limit the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for describing a graph, featuring terms like 'consistently', 'fluctuated', 'experienced a consistent rise', and 'declined dramatically'. There are, however, noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the response, such as 'those who attracted to martial arts activity' instead of 'those who were attracted to' or 'participation in martial arts', and 'mild increasing was noticed' instead of 'mild increase'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, though it remains sufficient to convey the basic trends of the chart without completely impeding communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses ('film club remained consistently the most popular activity that attracted people') and subordinate clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding verb forms, prepositions, and sentence boundaries. Examples include comma splices ('over the entire 20-year.In 2000'), incorrect passive/active voice choices ('the number of people who attracted to table tennis'), and pronoun errors ('there number became 10'). While some complex sentences are attempted, errors are frequent and occasionally cause the reader difficulty.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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