Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are different prospectives of thinking about competetion at work in school and in daily life but the people who thinks that competetion at school, at work and in daily life is a good thing it actually works only in school sectors because if parents thinks that if having a good competetion at schools, in sports, in sharing things with other childerns makes their lives healthier by having competetion with other in a positive way but other people believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other i think thats completely encouraged to motivate their students to not to compete with one another no matter in a positive way so if the competeion happens then their will be a huge disadvanatge for the students, people who are working on offices because this will lead towards disrespect For instance if one person have a problem with other that how do he started rising in his field then other starts to compete thats actually not fair enough instead of getting him as his inspiration he statred to pull down him and this will lead to disrespect and have damaging effects in our society as well as in new generation. we should try to get cooperation from the institutes, schools to teach people the basic fundamental ethics so that people will try to have healthier and positive change in their lives because in my opinion these things not only harms personal life but also badly affects persons personality traits as well as his social life circle. so if healthy competeion occurs in a simple and positive way then it actually works for the betterment of everyone life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to discuss both views regarding competition and cooperation, presenting a personal opinion regarding the value of cooperation and the potential negative effects of excessive competition. However, the development of ideas is hindered by a lack of clear paragraphing and a somewhat confusing progression of thought. While you touch upon both sides of the issue—acknowledging that some see competition as positive in schools while arguing that it leads to disrespect and negative personality traits—the arguments are underdeveloped and run together into a single, massive block of text. To achieve a higher band score, it is essential to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, devoting specific sections to each view followed by your own position with well-explained supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are severely compromised in this response because the entire essay consists of one single, run-on paragraph containing 279 words. There is a complete absence of paragraphing, which makes following your argument extremely difficult for the reader. Furthermore, the text lacks appropriate cohesive devices and punctuation; many sentences are linked together with conjunctions like 'so' and 'because' without proper pauses or full stops. Pronoun referencing is also frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'one person have a problem with other that how do he started rising'. To improve, you must structure your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, your opinion, and a conclusion, while using a wider variety of linking words accurately.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource displayed is limited and repetitive. You attempt some less common vocabulary items, such as 'fundamental ethics', 'personality traits', and 'betterment', but these are overshadowed by frequent spelling and word-choice errors. For instance, 'prospectives' is used instead of 'perspectives', 'competetion' is consistently misspelled throughout the text, and 'childerns' contains a redundant plural marker. Additionally, phrasing such as 'pull down him' and 'social life circle' lacks natural collocation. While your vocabulary is adequate to convey a basic message, these frequent lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors restrict your score to a band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, characterized by a lack of basic sentence boundaries and punctuation. The entire response functions as one extremely long, complex sentence strung together with multiple clauses, leading to severe structural confusion. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'the people who thinks' and 'if one person have', as well as tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing like 'that how do he started rising'. Punctuation is virtually non-existent apart from a few commas, meaning independent clauses are incorrectly fused together. To improve your grammar score, you need to focus on writing shorter, grammatically sound sentences with proper punctuation, ensuring that your subjects and verbs agree and your tenses remain consistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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