Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The societal significance of people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing has become an increasingly contentious issue in contemporary academic and public discourse. While proponents argue that its implementation offers substantial benefits, critics remain concerned about its potential adverse effects. This essay will critically analyze both the positive and negative dimensions of this trend to reach a logical conclusion.

Primarily, there are several reasons to believe that some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other serves as a catalyst for professional and social advancement. By fostering a more efficient environment, itenables individuals to achieve higher sucess rates and promotes healthy institutional development. For instance, empirical evidence suggests that integrating this trend into modern systems enhances the overall productivity. Consequently, its role in driving progress is indisputable.

However, despite these advantages, excessive reliance on people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing may pose significant challenges. Specifically, unregulated use can lead to there are not many good hospitals here which poses risk to social stability. Furthermore, academic research indicates that this phenomenon can cause is that life is a bit boring compared to big cities, leading to long term systemic issues.

In conclusion, while resolving global complexities is challenginng, collective action can mitigate these risks. Adopting a balanced and strategic approach toward people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding competition versus cooperation, but it suffers from severe template contamination and irrelevance. Throughout the essay, the student repeatedly copy-pasted or awkwardly inserted long, disjointed strings from the prompt and completely unrelated topics, such as 'there are not many good hospitals here' and 'life is a bit boring compared to big cities'. These insertions do not make sense in the context of a discussion on competition at work, school, and daily life. While the essay structure mimics an academic task, the content fails to develop a coherent position or adequately discuss both views due to these glaring off-topic insertions and incomplete sentences at the conclusion. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The overall organization is hindered by the chaotic inclusion of irrelevant phrases and broken sentences. Although paragraphing is attempted with a standard four-paragraph structure, the internal cohesion within paragraphs breaks down entirely due to nonsensical clauses inserted into the middle of sentences. For example, in the third paragraph, the sentence structure collapses into 'unregulated use can lead to there are not many good hospitals here'. Transitions like 'Primarily' and 'However' are present, but they fail to create logical progression because the ideas they connect are entirely incoherent. The conclusion also trails off unfinished, failing to provide a logical closure to the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary ranges from adequate academic phrasing in the introductory sentences (such as 'increasingly contentious issue', 'contemporary academic and public discourse', and 'catalyst for professional and social advancement') to completely incongruous and bizarre insertions. When the student uses original phrasing for the academic template, it demonstrates some control of less common lexical items. However, the severe misuse of vocabulary through copied text results in communication being heavily impeded in multiple sentences. Spelling is generally acceptable, but word choice and collocation break down completely where the irrelevant topic phrases are introduced.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammatical range includes attempts at complex sentence structures, such as concessive clauses ('While proponents argue that...') and relative clauses. However, the accuracy is severely compromised by the intrusive, jarring insertion of unrelated clauses that completely destroy syntactic flow. This results in major grammatical breakdowns, such as clauses fused together without proper subordination or punctuation (e.g., 'Specifically, unregulated use can lead to there are not many good hospitals here which poses risk...'). Furthermore, the essay ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence fragment. While there are isolated error-free stretches, the density of severe structural disruptions limits the score.

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