Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Discussions about try to cooperate have long been ongoing among people is a very interesting topic to discuss in our society nowadays as it has many pros and cons.

This essay will highlight the main advantages and disadvantages of competition including and development will use pertinent arguments to explain why the former notion merits attention.

Many arguments support but the most prominent one is that people should pay special attention towards For instance, Standford University found that 55% of respondents benefit from successand 75% experience disadvantages from it. Consequently, it is clear why many citizens support.

Adding to the support for men

is the fact that governments throughout the world havebecome more active in addresing this issue. A profound weakness beneft of is its ability to influence and

Overal,the advantagesdisadvantages of like and cannot be ignored. Considering what was discussed above, there is no doubt that Outweighs its drawbacks. My final point is that believe that there are indeed too many benefits to ignore when it comes to Efficiency and Synergy: Working together pools resources, minimizes redundant efforts, and solves complex problems faster.Stronger Culture: Internal rivalry breeds stress, isolation, and burnout, whereas collaboration fosters trust, inclusion, and higher employee retention.In conclusion, both competition and cooperation have their merits. However, I believe that fostering a cooperative spirit is more advantageous as it promotes a supportive and inclusive environment, which is essential for sustainable growth and development. Encouraging collaboration over competition can lead to more meaningful and lasting achievements and get the success

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response presents both views regarding competition and cooperation and attempts to state a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is severely compromised by incomplete sentences, disconnected phrases, and abrupt shifts in content, particularly in the middle sections where text appears disjointed and erratic. For instance, fragments like 'Adding to the support for men is the fact that' and the sudden introduction of bullet-point-style notes ('Efficiency and Synergy: Working together pools resources...') indicate a lack of cohesive thought development and planning. While the prompt is ostensibly addressed, the execution is fragmented, leading to an under-developed and disjointed response that only partially satisfies the task requirements. Consequently, the task achievement is limited by these structural and content disruptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay suffers from major structural and organizational flaws. Paragraphing is highly irregular, featuring single-sentence paragraphs and erratic bullet-point lists pasted directly into the body text. Cohesive devices are frequently misused, absent, or mechanical, resulting in a distinct lack of overall logical progression. For example, transitional phrases like 'Consequently, it is clear why many citizens support.' are incomplete and leave referencing unclear. The abrupt transition from essay prose to raw bullet points ('Stronger Culture: Internal rivalry breeds stress...') severely disrupts the flow and readability of the text. Overall, the arrangement of information lacks cohesion and fails to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and basic, with noticeable errors in word choice and collocation that frequently impede communication. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'sustainable growth,' 'synergy,' and 'inclusion,' but these are often undermined by awkward phrasing, such as 'Discussions about try to cooperate' or 'get the success.' Furthermore, there are awkward collocations and incomplete lexical chunks throughout the text, such as 'a profound weakness beneft of.' Spelling is generally acceptable for common words, but the overall vocabulary control is restricted and repetitive, placing it firmly at the lower end of the intermediate scale.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors that cause significant difficulty for the reader. The text contains numerous incomplete sentences, severe syntactical breakdowns, and incorrect verb forms, such as 'Discussions about try to cooperate have long been ongoing among people is a very interesting topic.' Simple sentence structures often contain basic errors, and attempts at complex structures frequently result in ungrammatical or nonsensical clauses, such as 'A profound weakness beneft of is its ability to influence and Overal,the advantagesdisadvantages of like and cannot be ignored.' Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic, with missing spaces and comma splices. These widespread grammatical inaccuracies severely detract from the overall quality of the writing.

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