Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
people hold differing views regrding competition at work, school and daily life. while, some argue that it enhance our job opportunites and career goal, i believe that it provides better productivity and our daily life.this essay will discuss both view with revelant achivement and benefits.
On the one hand, there are vaild arguments for why it built our career goal. The main reason is that it makes our life easier and faster. for instance, we have access to different technology and discovery. therefore, student helps to develop new method of communication and transportation system. this indicates the better facilites to employment. additionlly,working as student increases our knowledge and wishdom. however, it create our daily life convinent and easy.
On the other hand, the main benefits of cooperate work is to build our relationship among the team leader and family member. first and foremost, we can complete our task quickly. for example, children learn about different subject in their acadmic life.however, it is significant vital to utilize in our daily life to boost our futue. furthermore, education help us to become more creative. therefore, children beocme indepentent and lead their lifestyle themselve. moreover,working together helps us to gain different knowledge about society, community and global world.
In conclusion, although there are strong arguments on both sides , In my opinion, I completely agree with both arguments because teamwork and leadership teach us how to work with numerous people in factories and industries. furthermore, working as severl ambition has not fixed advantages and benefits however,it does not foucs on single goal.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to discuss both views on competition and cooperation and gives a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is frequently unclear and disconnected from the prompt. Phrases like 'it enhances our job opportunities and career goal' are asserted rather than supported, and the body paragraphs wander into tangential ideas about technology and communication. The conclusion contradicts standard conventions by stating 'I completely agree with both arguments' while simultaneously introducing confused notions about factories, industries, and single goals. Furthermore, many sentences are almost completely unintelligible due to vocabulary misuse, meaning the overall position remains weak and underdeveloped, aligning closely with a Band 4.5 or Band 5 descriptor.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing some basic structural awareness. However, progression is severely lacking. Many sentences within the body paragraphs bear little logical relation to each other, such as transitioning abruptly from team leaders and family members to children learning academic subjects. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inappropriately, with frequent misuses of 'however', 'therefore', and 'furthermore' that disrupt rather than guide the reader. Referencing is also problematic; pronouns like 'it' frequently lack clear antecedents, leaving the reader guessing what the writer is referring to. Overall organisation is strained, matching the standard of Band 4.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is basic and heavily repetitive, with persistent issues in word choice, spelling, and collocation. Numerous words are spelled incorrectly or used in the wrong form, such as 'regrding', 'oppurtunites', 'vaild', 'built' (instead of build), 'convinent', 'cooperate work', 'acadmic', 'vital' (used as an adverb), 'indepentent', and 'severl'. Furthermore, collocations are unnatural, such as 'wishdom' and 'global world'. These lexical inadequacies frequently strain the reader and obscure the intended meaning, placing the performance firmly in the Band 4 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over basic grammatical rules is severely deficient. There are frequent, fundamental errors including lack of subject-verb agreement ('student helps', 'children beocme'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing capitalisation throughout the text. Punctuation is also misused, with spaces misplaced around commas and full stops. Complex structures are almost always faulty, resulting in sentences that lack clear meaning. Because errors are dense and frequently impede communication across the majority of the text, the response fits the Band 4 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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